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MIL issues.

Okay, 5 years ago, my brothers girlfriend at the time, introduced me to her cousin, and he and I liked eachother (I was 14, he was 16) well, about a week later my brother and the girl broke up. They dated maybe a week. Me and her cousin(brandon) started dating. Then she popped up pregnant with my brothers kid. This is where it gets weird.lol. Me and brandon are still together and now have a child of our own, but ever since my niece was 2 weeks old, I have been taking care of her. I quit school, got my GED, gave up my social life to raise her. I love it. Wouldnt do anything different. I feel like God sent me this child. I didnt give brith to her, but she is my child just the same.

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Auntiemom410

Asked by Auntiemom410 at 4:13 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,430 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • cont...

    Anyways, Brandon has been the only father she has ever known, and he is so great with her, treats her just like his daughter. But every now and then... my MIL will put a bug in his ear about how unfair it is to us that we are raising a child that doesnt belong to us (my mom has custody, but she works alot and didnt really want to start all over after having raised her own kids, and i get it) I love my MIL, but I dont know how to make her understand that raising my niece IS NOT unfair to me, sure, I lost alot of my childhood, but there is nothing in this world more amazing than children.
    Auntiemom410

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 4:13 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • cont...

    I'm so frustrated with having to explain to people that Alexis (my niece) is not a punishment , that , NO she is not unfair because I CHOSE to take care of her. Sometimes this causes problems between me and brandon. especially because she gave custody of him to some girl she used to party with when he was 9 years old. I dont know how to handle this situation and make MIL stop saying that its unfair to me to have to raise her. Any ideas?
    Auntiemom410

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 4:14 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • ignore her. it was your decision, your man stands beside you on it, right? if mil brings it up i would ask her to drop it or not respond to her. tell her it was a joint decision and yall love her as your own
    SMWOODS

    Answer by SMWOODS at 4:18 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • just keep on doin what you are doin. you are obviously very mature even though you are young. she needs to mind her business. what you guys do is your own business. it has nothing to do with her. if you guys can handle it financially and emotionally, why not. the child should not have to suffer just because you did not give birth to her. btw...how did you end up raising her in the first place.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • well, the egg donor realized she couldnt handle her (she lived with us throughout her pregnancy and for 2 weeks after her birth BTW) she woke me up and handed her to me saying she couldnt do it. The next day I found her having a "coke" party in the kitchen. She picked her stuff up out of the lawn when she got off work that day, and tried to fight for custody, but it was temporarily awarded to my 16 y/o brother. He worked, I stayed with the baby. He realized he would have to give up partying, and that didnt sit well, so he gave her to the mothers father, who had 6 daughters of his own, and couldnt handle her, so I "babysat" day and night for him. I finally told my mom that I wanted her, so she got custody, and me, her and my SO have had her since. She just turned 4.
    Auntiemom410

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 4:34 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • AWWW. well just keep it up. dont let your mother in law's negitivity get to you. god is smiling down on you right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Tell her to mind her own business. Nobody else have to understand u and your hubby's situation. As long as both of u are ok with it and love the child like it's your own then that's all that matters. A child shouldn't suffer because of a parent's poor decision, and u blessed this child by taking her in, and nobody can fault you for giving a child a better life. I commend you for being so young and responsible and stepping up to the plate. If more people like you had better sense, and a big as heart as you, the world would make sense, but of course we know thats not the case. Good luck to you hun, and you know God will bless u and take care of the rest.
    ms.busybody

    Answer by ms.busybody at 4:46 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

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