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Okay my ex--yes another what the hell should I do question

I had the police remove my ex in october because he was being abusvie---him and I had gone back and forth for a year he would be mean to me and I would be mean to him, and I finally wanted him gone, he has been in rehab and is living in a sober living facility---I was going to go see him tommarrow---WHAT SHOULD I DO SHOULD I TAKE HIM BACK OR NOT REALLY~~~If I do take him back we are just going to date---- not move back in together. I am so confused I do not want to make another mistake. One day I want him back and the next minute I think to myself he almost broke my neck---but I have injured him before in a fight, also, we are going to start counseling, if we are getting back together, when it was good it was great, but when the relationship was bad it was really bad

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • For yours and your childrens safety, I would say this would not be a smart move. People change, but are you willing to take the chance? Next time it could be more than a close call, it could be a broken neck, and could even result in someone other than yourself getting hurt. Be smart about it, is it REALLY worth taking the chance?
    Hezekiahs_mom

    Answer by Hezekiahs_mom at 6:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Do not get back together with him. It would not benefit him or you to start dating again at this point. If you care about him even a little you should let him get a handle on his life and learn how to live sober otherwise as soon as you guys fight or anything he might run back into the abusive behavior and drug or alcohol use again. It's better to wait to see what his frame of mind and yours is.
    Bugzmomma

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 6:36 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • If you think there is a possibility that you and he could make a go of it, I see nothing wrong with your seeing him. I would, however, tell him there will be no sex unless and until we are married. With sex left out of the equation, you can concentrate on seeing if the two of you are at all compatible on the things that really matter in the long term. Character is the main thing you should watch. See how he treats you as a woman, not as a lover or even as a potential lover. Find out what things you love that he loves. Ask yourself if you are strong in the areas in which he is weak and vice versa. Ask yourself if you can see the two of you together in 50 years, when the above things become even more important. Keep your eyes on the prize, and that is finding someone with whom you can live the rest of your life in peace and contentment. If you see signs that it's not possible, then let him know quickly.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:38 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I would move on....Or wait more than a year to see if his sobriety stays. You never know, the person you knew might not be the person he is now.....GL!
    a76mcb

    Answer by a76mcb at 6:41 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • You need to move on. You know what he is capable of doing. Do you really want that hanging over your shoulder? You never know what is going to set him off to make him violent. Like a76mcb said you can wait to see if the rehab is real, or you can move on.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 6:46 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • once a cheater always a cheater, once an abuser always an abuser etc.
    diamondsarecool

    Answer by diamondsarecool at 9:05 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Men like this do not change esp when you mix domestic violence and drugs its a double - please do it for your chioldren if you cant do it for your self. Why would you want to go back to someone that treats yu bad. Besides do you really want to take the chance that you kids could be without a mother someday? Is that worth it? I have been in this situation once they are gone we have to keep them out because I have to tell you he hasnt been around in years and I am still terrified.
    Please stay away you dont need this and if he starts to harass you get a restraining order, I know they dont work 100% but stay away from that loser(sorry but any man that hits us is a loser)
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 11:56 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I agree, with all above, PLZ come by my profile and read my journals.

    UNTILL, you are good and feed -up, with his ass, You will go back ? :(

    You need to get sick of his shit, and tell him to grow the hell up or YOU ARE MOVING ON.

    If you guys have children, then they do not need this, and it is not good for them .

    PLZ find help, honey ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 1:23 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

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