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2 Bumps

How can i get my son to listen to me and calm down?

My son has a big problem with the word no. he is 3 and everything was great when his dad was with us.. but he moved out 2 months ago and has been acting out ever since. I have a 10 months old baby girl and she loves to play with her big bro. but he doesn't like share with her or even have her around him. he is acting out and everything i have tried hasn't work i need some help.

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Asked by Niki366 at 7:08 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • This little guy is hurting and acting out because dad is gone. He needs a lot of one on one time with you and praise whan he does things right. You might want to set up a kindness chart having to do with his sister. My niece had one in her home. Her kids have to do the kind things on the chart and they get stickers for doing them. After a certain number of stickers in a week they get a day out to the park, go out for ice cream, have a special meal, go to a museum, etc. It has worked wonders for them. Make your son's kind deeds revolve around his sister.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:17 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Don't say "No" and just redirect him. Talk quietly and calmly. Give him comfort and let him sit on your lap while you talk to him. This is average behavior for a 3 year old & they test the limits. If you yell or hit, it just will make it worse. His bad behavior may be compounded because of his Dad leaving and he senses your upset & stress. Even if you have to pretend, make it like you are very happy. Kids feed off of our emotions. This too shall pass so make the best of it & it's not worth stressing yourself out more. If you have to, go in the bathroom & close the door for a few minutes to de stress. GL :)


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 7:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • As far as discipline.........Each child has a "currency" which is THE most important thing to them. We used to take that away for an appropriate length of time as punishment. It won't necessarily be a toy. My youngest used to LOVE watching the trash truck. So, occasionally we would say he would not be allowed to watch it. Zero in on what makes your son tick. Be Consistent!! Don't threaten something unless you really will do it. Like saying "you will never watch TV again". That is unrealistic and not something you can follow through on. Make sure he gets tons of hugs and kisses too so he knows he is loved. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 7:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • elizabr said most of the same things I would suggest. Good luck!!!

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 7:48 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • to me it sounds like he is frustrated and confused because his world got turned upside down. I think instead of punishing him and telling him no try talking to him about his feelings. Even at his age he should be able to tell you how he is feeling and he is probably acting out because of all the changes and now getting in trouble. For me I like positive reinforcement instead of punishing. We got jars and colored marbles. Everytime they did something good they would get a marble, if they misbehaved we took a marble away. After "X" amount of marbles they would get a special treat. Either mom and me time or going for ice cream, or we would make their favorite dinner.

    Also this is the age where kids will test you so you have to consistant.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:50 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

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