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Can someone tell me how they handle their teens when it comes to being lazy when it comes to homework?

My son is a good student, but not motivated. If he just spent 15 more minutes on each subject he would be a straight a student. Plus we have to constantly monitor the schools website that allows us to watch his grades and homeworks, classwork. I can't tell you how many times I found missing homeworks. Not because they were not done, just not passed in. He is much better with that but now he was absent one day last week and still has not gotten his missed assignments. He is fifteen I shouldn't have to stay on him like this and to be honest I am tired of it. What can I do to teach him to be more responsible with this?

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Asked by jwpmom at 9:27 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (105 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • My DD is sometimes the same way. It depends on the teacher and the subject. Some days I could just throttle her. I think it is very common, though. A friend and I were talking and both of her boys are the same way. It's not that they don't care or are lazy, just something distracts them (a shiny object, member of the opposite sex, etc.)

    Answer by balagan_imma at 9:38 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I think it is very common too. And I am sure that their are many outside distractions. The way I look at it we only have three years left to get it through to them that they need to do this themselves. College isn't going to have a parent website for me to check that all his work is in. We just told him if he doesn't bring his missing assignments home tomorrow he is grounded. This is so tiring, now comes the attitude.

    Comment by jwpmom (original poster) at 10:02 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • It is time to let him sink or swim - he can go to a junior college, or the university of his choice.

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I let him sink or swim. He is old enough to understand the consequences of not doing his homework. My son knows that if he wants to go to college HE needs to put the effort forth to earn that privelege. Sometimes, natural consequences work the best.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:38 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Thank you for your answers. I have often thought I need to let him "sink or swim" but it is easier said than done. Especially when you have a school system that encourages your involvement. They make you feel as though you have failed your child by not being an involved parent. When I went to school my parents just asked if my homework was done, god help you if it wasn't. There has to be a middle ground between the two. If you let your child "sink or swim" and they begin to sink the school will notify you and ask for your help in working with your child. When did it become our responsibility to teach. Isn't that what we pay them for? If I wanted to teach my child I would have home schooled him. He does know that he needs to get good grades to get into college. But, I think that goal is so far removed right now that it is not much of a motivator. He needs short term goal settings.

    Comment by jwpmom (original poster) at 8:11 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Spoke with hubby concerning the sink or swim advice and came to this conclusion: we are going to take this advice but using a drivers permit analogy (with parental supervision), we are no longer going to hold his hand through the process, he knows what he has to do, if we hear from his teachers that too many homeworks are missing or receive unacceptable progress reports or report cards his priveleges are gone, no more excuses. It is so frustrating when you have a great kid that you know is capable of high honors with little effort but refuses to apply himself. I am settling for A's, B's and the occassional C, but nothing lower than that. It is difficult, because we all want our kids to succeed so badly that we do to much for them which teaches them nothing when it comes to being responsible tor themselves. Let me know what you think.

    Comment by jwpmom (original poster) at 10:22 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Is he spending time on the computer, watching TV or gaming? If so, those have to be taken away because they can be a big culprite in not getting homework done. Then you have to show him the consequences of not getting good grades. There was an episode on the Cosby show where they used monopoly money for Theo. What kind of job can he get without a higher education, what kind of car would he drive, where would he live making minimum wage, etc. See if that opens his eyes to learning.

    Answer by robinkane at 7:54 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

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