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how do i get my daughter to help out around the house?

My daughter is 12 years old and i can't get her to help out with anything around the house unless i get upset. I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant and am on meds to stop contractions and i am supposed to be taking it easy. I've asked nicely, I've cried and I've yelled nothing seems to help. Does anyone have any suggestions????


Asked by malleymom106 at 9:47 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 8 (209 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • <" alt="devil mini" border="0" title="devil mini" />after all u have done for this kid you do not have to give her any incentive or money for her to help u around the house. you have changed her diapers, put food in her stomach, and a roof over her head. i would take away any and every thing that she values/ likes, also all of her privileges. she sounds like a hard hearted child period ! u are 8.5 months pregnant .. if a pregnant stranger at walmart asks me for a favor i would gladly run to their aid. i cannot wrap my head around the fact that your daughter won't help... she sounds like a spoiled brat with a sense of entitlement who walks around with her little nose up in the air. i would take away any cd's, movies, tv priveleges, all those cute little clothes u bought her that she shows off at school.


    Answer by gwen20 at 12:32 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Sounds like she needs an incentive. If empathy is non-existant, try money. Does she get an allowance? Offer a list of things you need help with and attach a monetary incentive to each task if they are done well. See if that helps. It sure has helped my dd.

    Answer by collier5 at 9:55 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • With my daughter, I started to assign her one chore (basically one room)... when she was about oh I think she was 8 when I decided it would be a good time to start teaching her to be responsible.

    She cleans the kitchen (that includes the counters, loading and unloading the dishwasher and sweeping.)

    Some days she does better than others.

    Sometimes I've heard that incentive works. I think she does the chores now because it's routine. And you know there are times when she doesn't do them correctly and I make her redo it.

    But she's a bit of a clean freak.... .. But still.... and yet... my 7 year old son, is asking to be assigned a chore (go figure).... and I'm trying to figure out what sort of chore I could assign him.

    I hope you are able to figure out what system works well for you. I am more of a do it cause I said so.... and reminding her that I was doing it long before she did.

    Answer by Randomosity2 at 2:57 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I would sit down with my daughter and explain that she will always be your oldest and bestest daughter in the whole wide world. That you are really counting on her to help you out, because you need her. Use the allowance if you want, kids need a little money of their own. Poiint out to her that she will have a lot more privileges than the baby will, but there are responsibilities that come with those privileges. Don't yell at her, kids tend to shut down when the yelling starts. Just talk to her in a calm voice, and ask her what changes she would like to see happen. You might make a list of the things you need done and have her mark the things that she will do, and then hold her to that. Tell her you can switch off, or trade jobs each week. Hope this helps Mama.My dd was 13 when I had her little sister.

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 4:09 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • It was just part of the rules in our house. Everyone helped take care of the house because that is what a family does. Maybe it is too late but I would make a list of rules and have a family meeting to go over them. Helping out around the house (and specific chores) are all part of the rules. Your SO needs to be on board with this too and help make sure the rules are followed.

    Answer by elizabr at 12:34 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • devil minicont... if u are too ill to get up off the bed to confiscate her stuff, call a relative or neighbor to pack all her stuff bags and store it at their house in the basement.


    Answer by gwen20 at 12:36 PM on Jan. 29, 2011