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How can I get my husband to understand?

I am 18 weeks pregnant and duringmy first trimester sex started becoming painful. Now that time has gone by I just don't want it at all, not just because it's physically painful, but also because it's emotionally difficult for me, and I don't know why. Our first pregnancy actually amped up our sex life, but this one is different. But our biggest problem is that he doesn't understand, and he makes comments like "you wanna go get naked" or you wanna go make alittle" constantly, which is normal for us, but now it feels like he is just pushing me when he says stuff like that, or when he pats my butt ect... He is a great husband and would never make me do anything I didn't want to, but I want to know how to explain it when I don't even know what is wrong. I would hate for him to think it is his fault.

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Asked by GDTMO2 at 10:26 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • Tell him exactly what you just posted here. Let him know that this pregnancy is different and sex is difficult for you. It might change later in the pregnancy but with your hormones out of whack it is hard to do anything. Good luck!

    Answer by kmath at 10:29 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I agree with the PP and also want to add that this is something you need to work on too. You can't expect him to do all the changing here, you need to work on why this is so difficult for you, emotionally. It's important. Do you ahve a history of sexual violence? Any problems between you two that you haven't resolved? How do you feel about this pregnancy, are you happy or is there a secret place in you that is scared or angry or otherwise upset about it? There are a lot of emotional factors here, and you need to work through them to keep your relationship strong.

    I'm NOT saying to just go have sex even when you don't want to! Just that when sex is emotionally difficult for a woman there is usually a good reason that needs to be worked out.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:35 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

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