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My 14 year old son is in his second year at boarding school. He is very intelligent, however he has a better conversation with adults than his peers. He is being bullied as he has become the loner and I feel the lonliness is getting worse. He lacks confidence, the more we say the worse it becomes. How do you reach out to them to encourage them to be more social and hence life will be more enjoyable

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Asked by lert at 11:37 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • bring him home , this all will effect him for the rest of his life !!!!!

    Answer by letstalk747 at 11:39 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • You can't. He has to develop it on his own or else it's not confidence.

    I was the same way as a young teenager. You know what helped me? Aging lol. I was totally socially awkward until about a year ago, and I'm 23.

    Instead of trying to push him into social behavior give him confidence in the things he DOES excel at. Remind him that he is worth loving and knowing JUST FOR WHO HE IS and that if his peers can't see that, it's their loss. But don't do it with words, do it with actions. Like treating him more like an adult than his peers are treated. That's what gave me the getupandgo to make it through high school being totally socially weird lol.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:41 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • the trouble is he is not joining in boarding house activities now and the other kids probably wont be bothered with him. We give him a lots of love and lots of compliments, but its just not helping his cause at school. I guess it will be up to him and will take time, I just hope that he gets through it all ok. thanks for your coments

    Comment by lert (original poster) at 11:56 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Yeah, unfortunately, self-worth comes from within. There's nothing you can really do to help foster it except love him unconditionally.

    Wishing you both the best!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:05 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I don't know if I totally agree with the advice that you can't help foster his confidence and social skills. It doesn't happen over night, but encourage him to join one activity. It is not healthy to be a loner at any age. I would also talk with a guidance person at the school so that they can encourage him also. My son is a total home body. If we left him on his own he would never have gotten involved in anything. The rule is you have to be involved in a sport and or activity after school. We don't care if it is book club as long as he is involved and developing social skills.

    Answer by jwpmom at 10:55 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • i would talk to people at the school and have him meet with guideance conselor. Good luck to you both. Kids are ignorant these days.

    Answer by diamondsarecool at 10:33 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

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