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I really miss my son.

I have a son who will be 12 in about 3 weeks. My ex took custody of him and my son who will 17 in about a week by trickery and deceit. I am trying very hard not hate them by praying for them when I get angry. The problem is, I asked my son to not call me for awhile that I would call him when I was able to handle it all. I know he is young and that he needs his mother but sometimes I am overwhelmed and all I can do is to cry. My ex ignored this and made him call me anyway. Now the crazy thing is, he has let the 17 come down here on an "extendid visitation" to attend highschool here, although he tells my 12 year old that it would be "immoral" to send him down here becasue I am a bad mother.
I had never been seperated from either boy more that two weeks up until the time he took them when they were 10 and 15. Ok this is getting too long, but I have a 18 month old, and 7 year old, plus my grandkids to take care of and sometimes when I hear his voice, I can't barely cope with the fact he's not here and I "lose" it. I try not to, but I cry for hours. This isn't good for them or my mental health. Do you think that it's wrong for me to ask my son to wait to talk to me until I can "handle" it. I sometimes start crying when I'm talking to him and he starts crying. It's a mess. We are moving closer but we can't until we have the money which will take us about a year and a half to save?

 
MelissaCarole

Asked by MelissaCarole at 5:00 AM on Jan. 28, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 11 (530 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • Obviously this is really hard for you, but yes, it is wrong for you to tell your 12 year old son you can't talk to him. You need to talk to someone to help you find the inner strength to handle this and talk to your son on a regular basis. This is a time when you need to find a way to put the emotional needs of your child who is not with you before your own.
    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 6:58 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I am not strong enough, I can't do it. He will have to cope. I will talk to him when I feel up to it. My mental health is important too. I have to consider all the children and he is safe for the time being. This is been going on for almost two years. We are moving closer in a year and half. I'll be able to get him every other weekend and petition the court for joint custody. I told my son he can call me every Fri. night or Sat. and I will answer. I told him I love him and if he really needs to talk to me other times to leave a message and I would get back to him when I can. My ex told me he frequently will turn off his phone when he sees it's me calling. My son told me that, that isn't true and that his father is lying. They both are contantly playing headgames with me. My ex said that he allows my son to lie to me just like he had to lie to me when we were married. I've caught both my ex and my son in several lies.
    MelissaCarole

    Comment by MelissaCarole (original poster) at 1:54 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • You are obviously not well, but I do think it is wrong to make your son wait, when he needs you now. This waiting will only bring resentment on his part when he gets older, and then it will be too late to fix. Try a little harder, if you miss him that much seeing him will be a release of those feelings, it is not his fault whatever happened, put yourself in his shoes for a while.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:32 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

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