Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DD and eating

My daughter is 4 and can really be a pain sometimes. In the morning I give her a choice of what she can have for breakfast. This morning I asked if she wanted pancakes or cereal. She said pancakes. When I made them she started flipping out and saying that she wants cereal now. She does this a lot. Im getting really annoyed. Do I punish or ignore? I usually ignore and she will eat what I made. But I dont want this going on every morning. And if she doesnt eat it do I send her to school hungry or give in?? Her snack for school is at 10am. TIA

Answer Question

Asked by Steph319 at 7:18 AM on Jan. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 21 (11,543 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • The same thing happens with juice and milk. When she asks for juice Ill give it to her and she flips and says "No I said I wantd milk!". And she didnt! Again I dont give in. But how long of not giving in will it take for her to lose the attitude and stop acting this way?

    Comment by Steph319 (original poster) at 7:20 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • i would tell her that she had two choices and chose so and so, and now this is what she's getting. if she doesn't want it, then she doesn't have to eat it but you're not making anything else. sounds harsh, but she's not having a tantrum because she doesn't like what you gave her, she's just having a control battle with you. if she still refuses to eat it after you explained she won't get anything else, then yes, let her go to school hungry. or offer her a banana or an apple, or some piece of fruit that she likes as an alternative. my 4 year old did this alot when she was 3!

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:23 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Thanks tnm!! Its not harsh and Ive actually done it before. I always give her two choices and wil ask more than once to be sure. Is this control thing a phase??? Its killing me! lol

    Comment by Steph319 (original poster) at 7:25 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • It is a phase and you are doing the right thing by repeating what she wants and then sticking to it. You might go over things by discussing with her that once she makes her choice that's it. She can have the other item next time. Take all anger and frustration out of it so she does not know she is irritating you.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:33 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • it is most certainly control. she's testing you to find out what she can get away with. my friend also has a 4 year old going through the same thing. mine went through it at 3, but she doesn't do it anymore cause she learned mommy doesn't play that game.. lol. its good that you're giving her choices, that way she's the one who decided what she wanted. you're doing all the right things so just keep hanging in there and it will pass :)

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:38 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • My 4 year old does that sometimes and I make her eat hat she picked or eat nothing at all. I agree with the others it is a control thing, don't give in and she'll get over it.


    Answer by lilysmom2607 at 8:24 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • You let her know BEFORE she makes a choice that once she has made a choice she is to eat whatever is given to her. That she cannot change her mind once she has made a choice, so she had better know what she wants before she says it. If she flips out you give her one warning. "You need to calm down. You've made your choice and that is what you're getting." It's not right to send her to school hungry, though in most meal situations if they have a fit over what you make then they wouldn't get anything. I think it's best to just assure her that you're giving her the choice and once she has made that choice it is final.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:45 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • My 3 year old does the same thing. So I usually give him a little bit of each choice, when he's undecided. It takes him an eternity to eat breakfast (sometimes it lasts until lunch), so it usually works for us.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 2:03 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.