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2 Bumps

Anyone with an arranged marrage here?

How was your DH picked for you? Do you truely love him or just respect him?

Answer Question
 
rebeccadac

Asked by rebeccadac at 11:32 AM on Jan. 28, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 22 (13,737 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Not me, but a coworker of mine is a Hindu originally from India. His parents used an online matching service to find his wife after he had moved to the States and had stable employment. They talked on the phone a lot before the marriage to get to know each other better. They've been married for 3 years now and just had their first child a week ago.

    He's very much in love.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 11:43 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • My dh's brother had an arranged marriage (though they did meet and get to know each other first.) She is actually a very distant relative... somewhere along the line there is a shared family member, which is how my ILs knew the family. They seem reasonably happy, though personally I think that SIL is way too good for BIL (I've always thought that BIL is a bit of a spoiled brat, but that's kind of beside the issue.)
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 12:09 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • A good friend of mine had an arranged marriage. Her husband wasn't 'picked' for her.

    Think of it more as a family oriented dating service. They introduced her to a few men, they encouraged communication and provided background on all of them.

    She spoke to him a lot before the wedding, spent a lot of time with him.

    They are very happy together and very much in love.

    Arranged does not mean the female has no choice or say.
    Piskie

    Answer by Piskie at 2:35 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Our was not, but we have many friends who had arranged marriages, and have done the same for their children.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:35 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • A couple from church have an arranged marriage. They both came from India. He was in the US working and she was in India. Their parents exchanged photo's and they talked a lot before the wedding. They are both from a Pentecost background and her family has many Pentecostal preachers. Anyway, they do love each other very much, volunteer together in the church, hold bible studies, etc. and they live right down the street. They are expecting their first son in March :)
    kittieashy

    Answer by kittieashy at 3:10 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • A former co-worker of mine is in an arranged marriage. She had stable employment and US citizenship and her parents found her a husband.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 4:18 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • No.. I have a "love marriage".. However, our marriage would not have happened if both families did not agree to it.

    Most every marriage on in both my family and my husband family, up until our generation (we are both nearly 50) were arranged marriages.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:12 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I wanted to add.

    My son (who will be 20 his next birthday) has requested an arranged marriage. My husband and I agreed. The way an arranged marriage is usually handled these days is much like blind dating.. lol.. My husband and I will find suitable prospects, we will set up blind dates for them to meet. If my son and a young woman hit it off, and decide that they want to marry. My husband and I will make the marriage proposal to the young woman's parents. If both my son and the young woman are agreed. If both families are agreed. Then the marriage will happen. The marriage only happens if everyone is in agreement.

    Old school arranged marriages were much different. Like my grandparents did not meet until their wedding day. That is old school traditional arranged marriage. Not meeting until it was time to take your vows. Arranged marriages these days are different. There are even match making websites to find spouses..lol
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:48 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • My Grandmother was and she said "He was a good man and always wanted the best for me but I never loved him"
    Seems sad for all parties doesn't it?
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 8:45 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • no
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 8:30 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

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