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telling stories, how to get her to tell the truth?

My daughter is 4 about to be 5 and has just now starting telling lyes and we have told her that if it didnt really happen then its a lye and lyes arent good choices, but she still does. Some are unharmful but some are.. she goes to school and told her teacher that we dont feed her when she eats all the time, has told people daddy goes to jail all the time, told people we bite her alot and it hurts, mommys is pregnant again with twins and I am gonna give them my room so I have nowhere to sleep... when none of this is ture and we talk to her about everything she says and we talk about how its not nice to tell these stories and what will happen if she keeps telling people things like this, that her and her brothers will be taken from mommy and daddy and have to go live with people she doesnt know. BUT she still does it, she says she feels bad for doing it and will tell me sorry but then does it again. HELP I DONT HER TO TELL THE WRONG THING TO THE WRONG PERSON!!!!

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SkylaReneeMom

Asked by SkylaReneeMom at 11:59 AM on Jan. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,654 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Okay, for starters, she still isn't developmentally capable of always being able to tell the difference between her imagination/stories and reality. You must start with knowing what you can expect from her.

    Something that may be helpful practice is to experiment when you're riding in the car or something. You can ask truth and not truth questions like "Is Mommy's shirt pink?" If your shirt is pink ans she says so, then you say "Yes. That is the truth." If it wasn't pink and she said it was then you could say "Nope. Mommy's shirt is yellow, right?" This gives her practice and demonstrates the concept at the same time. It isn't a magic solution, but as she gets nearer about 8 years old, she will be able to determine the difference between honesty and lies or imagination.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 12:13 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • At four they may not completely understand the difference between what is real and what is imagination. I do think teachers take these things with a grain of salt (when my son was that age he was tired at school one day and when his teacher commented on it he said it was because I came into his room several times a night to wake him up every night so he never got any sleep- yeah, like I wanted him awake in the middle of the night! LOL!) It kind of sounds like attention-getting behaviour as well... maybe you could reinforce the difference between real and imaginary and help her rehearse a 'real' event to share with her teacher when she gets to school.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 12:17 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • My 3.5 year-old daughter watc hed Pinochio -- and following that movie -- She is afraid her nose will grow if she tells a lie -- so if she is fibbing, she automatically touches her nose! She told me the other day that her friend lied at school to the teacher and ..."I saw her nose grow a little bit," she exclaimed. lol. My advice? Have her watch the movie!
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 12:19 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

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