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What can I do....I resent my husband.

I am a sahm and I really resent the fact that i don't get a day off and on his days off all he does is watch tv. I am pregnant so maybe it's just hormones but it really is bothering me. The leaves need to be raked or mowed up and I'm going to have to do it or else it won't get done.
Yesterday we were going to go shopping and I said if you get the kids we can go....he said well we just won't go then. WTF!!!! I have to do everything??!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You are singing my song girl. I'm a SAHM to a 5 year old son who keeps me hopping constantly and I work from home. My husband will call me and say "well, can you go here and then there and then do this and that"? I'm like, please give me a break. I want one day where noone calls and noone wants anything from me. I rake all the leaves, clean the house, run the errands, cook dinner, do the laundry, etc....... I know how you feel, if you don't do it yourself it will never get done.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • maybe he feels that since you're okay to do it when he's at work then it's okay on his days off...my hubby's the same way,..the one thing i ask him to do is take his dishes to the sink and take the trash out, and both he doesn't do...i love my hubby to death, truely and honestly, but it drives me insane...i pick his dishes up bc i hate dirty dishes...i can't even get him to take the baby off my hands just for 10 minutes to go soak in the bathtub...

    it's not just the hormones, i promise..it can't be justified that because you're a sahm you have to do all this, trust me it's not fair you take care of kids and the house, which in a way you're still contributing to the household ya know 50/50...speak up now or it's going to be a BIG blow-out fight.
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 6:12 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I complained to my husband that I seemed to do all the work around the house. He replied that he works all day and also takes all care of the cars and mows and does upkeep on the house. Even so, I saw him sitting and reading the paper and I never had time to read the paper. Being a SAHM is a full time, 24 hour a day job. It would have been nice if just one evening my husband would have let me have time off. Perhaps that is an answer for you. You could see if your husband would let you have one evening a week off- whether to go out on your own or with the girls or to have a nice bath and read?
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:22 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • It only gets worse with time!
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 7:11 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • amen to amydh's wise words. Grin and bear it or tell him to straighten his ass out (or get out). That's not always easy to do, I know -so sometimes we just suck it up and take their crap. Ok, others might. I divorced mine.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:42 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • why don't you just take a day off then? On one of his days off, plan to go to a friends or family members house to just nap, if need be rent a hotel room so that you can just lounge. Wake up say, I'm taking a day off, and walk away. He will deal with it. And hopefully it will open up his eyes...and as far as the leaves go. Tell him that you NEED him to do it and then leave it. If he doesn't do it, then its his mess to clean up next spring.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 8:02 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I am sooooo sitting in the same boat as you. I resent my DH for taking advantage of me and who I am. I have a 7yr old and a newborn that I am taking care of and he acts as if a SAHM means lazy. He always throws up the fact that he works all the time and that his job is wayyyy more physical than mine. I HATE that. I am right on the line of just walking out, because if i'm gonna be a single mom, I might as well be one without him. GL i'm sorry you have to go through this while your pregnant.
    lilmans_mommy

    Answer by lilmans_mommy at 8:54 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • tell him if he doesnt shape up n you dont see results in a specified amount of time it isnt gonna work....believe me...if you cant stand the laziness now it wont get any better when your newest miracle arrives...
    Killemo

    Answer by Killemo at 9:03 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • thats bs. you do get a day off...tell him.

    on weekends i sleep in on saturdays and he gets up withe baby...sundays he sleeps in and i get up so we both get one day to sleep in during the week. he wont do much but he'll do the dishes once on the weekends, and trash is his job etc. talk to him....if he doesnt budge..dont give him a choice. tell him its going to happen
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 9:09 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Thanks for all your great anwers and advice. I'm soooo glad I'm not the only that feels this way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

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