My therapist and my own sister have told me repeatedly to stay away from my mother as much as possible and to see her as an acquaintance. But I still cling to her. We go through this cycle of being best friends to her telling me off and fighting me. The last time she hit me was when I was 17 but instead she attacks verbally and mentally. She even says horrible things when she's mad. For example, she starts yelling like and it reminds me of a mad gorilla- it's so volatile! I can't even disagree to talk because she throws out things that don't make sense or I can't defend- things I did as a kid and teen. And then she goes even further and will start accusing me of lying about her brother raping me and how I tried to make her and her sisters turn against her poor brother who was only a pre teen when he "supposedly molested me". There was a reason I didn't want to tell them because I knew they were very narrow minded and wouldn't want to believe it. The drs used to tell my mother there were signs I was sexually abused by my behavior but instead of finding out the truth, I would get beat for "acting like a kid who had been raped when I had no right." She denies ever hitting. I have this fear that one day people are going to come forward to tell me I've been beating my kids and I won't even know it. For a long time I thought I was crazy and made the whole thing up but my sister reminds me it did and she has the exact same fears.
I'm so sad I feel suicidal. All it takes is one attack from my mom and I go back to that dark place. I don't want to keep doing this with her but I want a mom.
Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Jan. 28, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by gdiamante at 1:24 PM on Jan. 28, 2011
Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:28 PM on Jan. 28, 2011
Answer by LoveMyDog at 1:30 PM on Jan. 28, 2011
Answer by gmasboy at 1:35 PM on Jan. 28, 2011
Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 3:07 PM on Jan. 28, 2011
Answer by gwen20 at 5:16 PM on Jan. 28, 2011