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Helping out family could cause trouble

So my mother and my brothers needed a place to stay so they could get a place close to me. I told them it would be fine as long as they had the money to move into a apt.

So, after they get here I found out my mother had NO money. (unexpected bills) which kind of bothered me since I cant work due to being pregnant. They were able to provide there own food(foodstamps). They have helped me get to Doctor appointments since they have been here which really helped me.

But now, they are eating up all the food. Then my mother wants to tell my husband what he should and shouldn't do with our child. -Hes a great man that loves his daughter, we are a very happy family with no problems- If he does one thing she jumps on him saying its wrong. If he puts her in the corner for something bad, my mother gets up set. But I completely agree with him and his punishments. I DO THE SAME THINGS! I dont let my daughter hit or bite people. Now my daughter is getting confused because I say one thing and gma does another. Now, my daughter is getting confused and is acting bratty at times.

Its stressing out me and my husband. He doesnt like being told what to do with his family.

I know my mother wont have any money but my husband wants her out by the end of the month. I dont want her to be homeless. Plus I need her near by because I have a risk of herroganing and I need someone there just in case.(i dont have a car)

What should I do????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Jan. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • You need to set ground rules. I am in the same situation. ONLY my MIL and SIL don't buy ANY food and eat up all of ours and then get mad if I say something. I wrote OUR names on everything we bought. I still do ALL of the housework because they can't manage to put their dishes in the dishwasher or clean up a single mess.

    My MIL was telling my son what to do and ETC. So I said now Ethan you need to listen to MOMMY, MOMMY is the boss NOT Grandma. She never said anything to him since.

    Answer by Misteh at 3:55 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Yep set some boundaries. Let her know that it is not her little one and you and your husband choose to do things one way and you need her to support that. Then let her know that if she is willing to go along with that then she needs to find another place to stay.

    Answer by Melbornj at 4:21 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • i do what misteh does. when we are at my in laws his grandma likes to tell him that its ok to do things i dont like. so i have to say k mommy is the boss u need to listen to me

    Answer by knagsmom at 4:47 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I would agree with your husband. He is essentially providing for his family and your mom and dad. I don' think that is fair to him or your daughter. If she can't start paying for her way then its time to cut the strings. From what you wrote she is causing a big strain on your family and it isn't fair espcially you being pregnant. Thats added stress you don't need. If your husband wants her out I would go with that. espcially since he is the one paying the bills.

    Answer by Baby4us09 at 6:19 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

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