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I am very curious of how you would react to this...? My son's father called me out of the blue and said he wants to be in my son's life. He hasn't seen my son since he was born.

As I understood it thr0ugh mutual friends that his wife claimed if he were to ever see my son he would take away their kids he has with her. He said, in the phone call, that they are now divorced and wants to make right what he did wrong. He said he's geniune and really wants to start a relationship if my son is willing. What are your thoughts? My son is now 12 years old.

 
AmyLynn5398

Asked by AmyLynn5398 at 3:52 PM on Jan. 28, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (3,564 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • My sister is going through the same thing.. My niece is 10 and he "all of a sudden" wanted to get a Paternity test done and now fighting her to NOT pay child support - texted my niece to take her out "sometime soon" ( my sister gave him her number ) and then already didn't call for another almost 2 weeks and now ... my sister is letting him take her to dinner and shopping... he knew that he could have been her father basically the whole time and didn't care to be a part of her life and now... he AND my sister are acting like no big deal.. mind you.. .my sister has been working 2 jobs and going to school and my parents and I have been more a part of her life and parents than my sister - gross.. the whole thing makes me sick - it would be one thing if he had NO IDEA that he was her dad til now but to know and CHOOSE not to be a part until HE is ready... grrr.... I am sick.. I'm sorry
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:03 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • It depends on the situation. was your ex a drub user? Did he abuse you? If yes then no way. how does your son do with chaange? If not well than no way. I would say discuss it with your son he is 12 and capable to have a say in this. I had a simalar issue a few years ago with my loser ex. I discussed with my son he wad 8 at the time. We decided to have him -the ex come watch my son play hockey we havent herd from him in like 3 years i am remrried and my husbasnd he is way more a father to my son than my ex ever could. Be careful he is all talk now he could change his mind in a month than your son will be hurt. message me if u want
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 5:21 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Give him a chance.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:57 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • If he step up from the beginning hes a man but is to late at least if your boy wants to deal with his dad let them deal with it because evry child deserve a mother and a father no child wants one parent they need both parents do you understand me
    I hope you can let your son know his dad i know it will be hard pray for you and your son
    ranay375

    Answer by ranay375 at 4:01 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Oh my son is 12 years old.
    AmyLynn5398

    Comment by AmyLynn5398 (original poster) at 4:03 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Wow , what a phone call. What does your son think? Do not gossip or talk negatively abou tyour ex, it will make things even more complicated. But do give your ex the opportunity to make amends in a respectful manner. GL to you and your son.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 4:09 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I think everyone deserves a chance. Good luck, because this could be difficult no matter what.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 5:05 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I would say to him, if he starts seeing him, he cant disappear again. If he thinks he may do that, or even hesitates, then say no. His wife sounds like a b*tch!!
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 6:12 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Why is your son's father an Ex? Answering that question may point you in the right direction. If he is a BAD person, then make him wait until your son is an adult and your son can choose to make contact if he wants.  If he's an ok person and you fully believe he is being genuine, then talk to your son and see what he wants. 



    continued

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 6:35 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I've recently been going through something like this. My ex-husband contacted me after 12 years of no contact and said he wanted to get to know my daughter and catch up with me. He did some really terrible things when we were married, and after our divorce he disappeared completely. After about a year of no contact I had his parental rights terminated. My daughter is 14 now, and this man is a complete stranger with no legal rights to her. I talked to my daughter and explained what was going on. I told her that IF she wanted to see him AFTER she turned 18 I would help her find him, but at this point in her life it wouldn't be a good idea. He has since made several attempts to harass me, and he's proven that he has not changed.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 6:35 PM on Jan. 28, 2011