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4 Bumps

What would you do if a woman had a major crush on your husband?

A woman my husband works with has a crush on him. He didn't know until I told him. I didn't know until I took her as a client (I'm a doula). She's a mess, and she has no one else to help her get ready for this baby and get her through the birth. I feel morally and professionally obligated to do what I have agreed to do...but...it's difficult. Of course she never says in so many words that she wants my husband, but she says/does a lot of things that make it obvious. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes my husband uncomfortable, and other people are also starting to notice.

 
misses_nick

Asked by misses_nick at 4:10 PM on Jan. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 24 (20,198 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I've learned during my time on CM that I'm an odd duck in my thinking about these types of things.. LOL

    If there was a woman who had such feelings towards my husband. I would first, tell my husband my feelings about the situation. It would then be up to my husband to make it clearly plain to this other person that he is not interested ...period.. and that he would like for her behaviors/actions towards him to change because they make both him and I uncomfortable. Another woman, who is already to the point of showing feelings to my husband that OTHERS outside of me and him are noticing, she isn't going to listen to a word I have to say. Or my feelings about the situation. If she cared about those things, she wouldn't be so obvious to begin with. Therefore, the person of her interest: My husband, would need to shut her down and tell her how inappropriate she his, how uncomfortable it makes him, and that he's NOT interested.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:15 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Business is business. If you are a professional at what you do then you ignore it & do your job. As long as your DH does not act on the attraction then what is the big deal? Many women are attracted to my DH & he works with women as well. I have seen the attraction they have for him & frankly I am flattered. I know he is faithful to me so I don't mind. It's human nature.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 4:14 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Great question. Since you are in a work enviornment I would ask myself to be excused from working with her. Who needs that type of aggravation and bs? She sounds like trouble and I'd pass on the client...........
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 4:17 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Talk with her, she is being incredibly inappropriate. She's pregnant! Or, has she already had the baby? She should not have come to you, since she has a crush on your hubby. She more then likely did it in hopes of getting closer to him in a situation other then work. Or, to come between the two of you. Whatever, she did come to you, and that's just not right. IDK what the heck she's saying and doing, but obviously she's making it more and more obvious if others are taking notice. So, it's time to talk. Talk before it becomes a mess for him at work. She's starting all this, and you don't want it to look bad for him at work, which it probably won't, but, with her being a new mom, who knows.
    Besides that, I'd be very, very jealous. Especially if she was in the least bit attractive. If she was really making the moves, then I'd be pissed.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:17 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I had a girl slip a LOVE note in front of my family to my husband at our engagement party. Man that was a MESS. I don't know what to tell you though since she hasn't came out and openly admitted it.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 4:12 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • It would be difficult to deal with that but like ilovemypaulie said its probably just hormonal and it will go away in time, if someone did that to me i would just laugh it off and think to myself my hubby isn't going anywhere so no worries
    mommy2destinee

    Answer by mommy2destinee at 4:17 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I would be loving it. It means I made a good choice.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 4:20 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • You can complete your contract. Just do not allow any conversation concerning your huband and do not have your husband around or in attendance at your meetings. Completely take him out of the equation.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:23 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Our situations are radically different, but here's what I ended up doing...
    My husband and I owned a comic book store, the young lady was the daughter of a regular customer, she was 19 and sort of trampy. One day, she came in while I was in the back of the shop doing some custom tie-dye, she did not know I was there. I was 7 months pregnant with our first, and she started saying things to my husband like "I bet it's frustrating having a pregnant wife" and "How long has it been since you've had some really good hot sex?" My husband was playing some online RPG at the time and he was basically ignoring her. The girl actually yanked her skirt up and bent over the counter and said "You could do me right here and she'd never know." He was stunned. I wasn't. I came out from the back of the shop with a wet mop and smacked her across the bare butt with it! She ran for the hills and we never saw her again.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:00 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • her crush is likely hormonal and not real. im sure after she has the baby and everything levels out she'll come to her senses and probably feel really bad for putting all of you in that situation, and stupid for making it so obvious. even if you drop her, your husband still works with her right? so he will still have to see her at work. if you think it would be best to drop her as a client, then you have to do what's best. but if you think it would only create more awkwardness, i'd keep her and just try to keep it strictly professional. like if she brings up your husband.. change the subject. make it obvious to her that she's out of line.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 4:14 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

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