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how can i control the anger i am feeling.

My daughter frustrated me, she will be 2 in march, and i am 5 months pregnant.She does stuff that aggrivated me, and i just go psyco. I dont wanna feel this way, it makes me yell at her, i know she dont understand what she is doing quite yet,...But i get mad if she dont listen, or she crys for no reason. I dont know what to do. I feel like just leaving her in the house and leaving by myself sometimes. I know its not her it me..But what can i do to control myself. I dont wanna end up one day spanking her or hitting her for it. I wanna teach her the right way. But its so much easier to just yell and scream at her. Eventually she stops, and goes to sleep. But i dont want her to be scared of me eithor. I wanna respect her, and i want her to respect me as well.PLEASE,PLEASE.PLEASE.PLEASE HELP ME SOMEBODY..I am desperate. before its to late for me or my daughter to grow together, before i ruin our relationship, and i have this new baby and i have a repeat. thank you so much for your time reading this...

 
famsantiz

Asked by famsantiz at 4:54 PM on Jan. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 5 (77 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Do you havw a laundry room or a bathroom you can go in? When she does this and you are going to loose control just go in there for a few minutes before you deal with her. I had alot of similar trouble when he was little his behavior made me nuts I tried everything in the books-he wound up with ADHD (please dont think she has she is jusr in terrible 2's) I went to a parenting class and it helped me. Time out and be firm, keep putting her in there dont let her out untrill she stops screaming and behaves even if you have to put her bach in there 500 times in 2 days. It will be hard at first, but remember your secret room where you go to take deep breaths and remember we cant hit our kids today-lol really my son remembers me yelling and he asks me if he was bad all the time (put a knife in my heart) i just told him no we both needed to work on things. Its ok you are a good momm alot of moms go throu this. Message me if you
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 9:15 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I have been there, so I really know how you feel, being pregnant doesnt help. For me I have realized that it comes from feeling like I have a lack of control, and a lack of respect. So what helped was really sticking with a dicipline, 100% of the time, so everytime she does something she isnt allowed to she gets in trouble for it (time out) Then I can walk away, and relax, and come talk to her when she is done. Feeling in control makes the anger so much easier to deal with. Realizing that you are not handling it well is a good step, and you can make it through it. Its never easy, but it gets easier.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Look in your daughter's face, when she's sleeping peacefully, and understand that that child is nearly defenseless in this world and you are here on this earth to protect her, not harm her. If her own mother is so angry with her, where is her safe place to fall? Seek someone out to talk to, give yourself a nice healthy break to go do something you love to do on a regular schedule if possible, get some mommy-free time, go for a walk with her too sometimes and get some fresh air. Tell yourself that you are going to make this change today. You are going to be her safe place to fall.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 4:59 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • You are under a lot of stress right now, and it'm making it hard for you. Is there someone who can give you a break so you can have some me time? A family member perhaps, or a friend. You need to talk to someone. If you can get your feeling out, that will help. You have to talk to yourself when you get frustrated with her and say "She is not doing this to frustrate me, she is just doing it. She is a child. I am the adult". Then take a breath. Speak in a whisper to her. She'll listen to that, but realize that she doesn't understand everything, and she will continue to do things that frustrate you. That's just the way kids are. She is too little to respect you the way you are talking about respect. That will come later. Try to avoid situations where she will frustrate you, before they happen. Does she spill her drink? Give her a covered cup. You must talk to someone, a relative, a friend, a minister. You do need help, more than
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 5:02 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • You have to convince yourself that it takes more energy for you to yell and scream and throw a fit (like what she is doing) than to just explain to her that she can't do that. Also the more she sees you act like a child the more she will throw tantrums. Remind yourself of that often and lots. Repeat it to yourself. When she IS asleep run through scenarios in you head of her acting out and how you SHOULD react.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 5:03 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Get some help as mentioned above.. Go to a parenting class.......ask at the hospital or your doctor for some references. Don't stop until someone helps you. Be consistent in your rules and discipline. It is not necessary to be angry, just consistent and loving. Spend one on one time with her and praise her when she does things right. Get help now so you can cope with her and also the new baby when she/he is born. GL hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:22 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I am a good mom for the anonomous answer. I dont need to have someone adopt them. Thats why i joined this club for help and other moms like me are here for answers. Being a parent is not easy, atleast i accept that i have anger issues. I want to be an even better mom. Why would i give my kids away when God gave them to me for a purpose. I know the first step is to confess the problem i have. Millions of people in this world cant have children, and million of others just give them away. this is a site for mothers, obviously your not a mother or why would you say something so cruel to someone...to all you others thanks i am gonna be a good mother to my children, i know i can be. Thanks for being supportive ..
    famsantiz

    Comment by famsantiz (original poster) at 5:38 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • " I want to be an even better mom. Why would i give my kids away when God gave them to me for a purpose? '
    There is absolutely no reason why u can't just take an hour or so break from your daughter and have some "me" time. My daughter is 2 and if u go back to some of the older post questions I asked, sometimes I feel like my daughter is driving me to take a shot glass of Capt. Morgens Rum and having "all u can drink until u pass out" night followed my a few xanax the next morning!! And u being pregnant on top of everything else?? So in my "professional" opinion, go and get your feet pampered, go out and get the ice cream and pickles ..lol........or go buy a box of Valentine Day box of chocolate, or take a bath and let calgon take u away to a isolated island with good looking men pamper your feet and feeding u chocolate. Don't consider u r weak just cause u asked for a break, I think most moms here will tell u that.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 7:33 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I did forget to tell u that I think my daughter is raising ther bar and giving a whole new defination oif the "terrible 2's" She fights me whne I change her diaper, when I try and dress her, even I give her ther choice of what she wanrt to wear, when she is eating, she thinks its up to her to paint our walls with whatever she is eating or texturing the walls with oatmeal. She also thinks tormenting our cat and dog is her life's goals, or making a gourmet meal out of mixing the cat and dog food and eating it. She also thinks she the next Evel Knievel when she takes a nose dive from our couch, or climbing ouit of her crib (can' afford a toodler bed right now). U do sound like a very kind and loving mama, but even Mary Poppins needs a break every now and then. But when I lay my daughter down in bed and I look at her angelic face (still reminding myself not to be fooled by that look) I do remember I love her with all my heart.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 7:59 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • you may want to talk to a specialist... trust me it will help.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 8:58 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

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