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What was I thinking falling for such an idiot?

So I was starting to fall for a guy I had dated for a little while but he ended things because he supposedly wasn't ready for a relationship and didn't want me to fall any harder for him and end up getting really hurt...that was about a month ago and apparently now he's chasing after a woman who cheated on her ex-fiance with him. I know this woman, I am friends with her, and she used him during their affair 6 years ago. I don't want to seem petty or betray her friendship by telling the idiot how he wasn't the only other guy she was cheating on her ex with at the time or how she fell in love with someone else less than two months after she ended their affair - he'd probably think I was making it up anyway. Apparently he's been comforting my friend through a bad time - her husband recently up and left her and is fighting her for custody of their 2 year old son - and even though she doesn't think of him as anything more than a friend he ended up falling for her again. She called me a few days ago freaking out because she was ignoring his phone calls and he showed up uninvited to her friends house looking for her, her friend told him she fell asleep when she was putting her son to bed and he left all pissed off. She's told him before she isn't looking for a new guy, that all she wants is her husband back but he's obviously not getting the point. I'd think a 28 year old man with plenty of experience in relationships would realize that someone going through an emotionally devestating and bitter custody battle wouldn't be interested in starting a relationship, especially when that someone tells him she isn't interested. He once told me the most important thing he wants in a woman, the one thing that he won't compromise on is loyalty. The only guy my friend has never cheated on in her life was her husband. I've met, and dated, some real idiots throughout the years but this guy is the biggest idiot ever. I just don't get what could possibly be going through his head.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Jan. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • No, I wouldn't tell the guy anything.  He made his choice, let him deal with it.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 6:29 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Me personally. I can & only will speak for me.

    If I were in that type of situation. I would not say anything to him about it. What all went on between him and this "friend" would be none of my business, none of my concern, and having nothing to do with mine & his relationship. Why would I care about what happened between them then or now, if he had already chosen to not be with me (regardless if he chose to be or try to be with this "friend" or not).

    Who knows what's going through his head. He most likely doesn't even know. What you do know is this. He's not interested in you. So, let him go and do whatever he wants with whomever he wants. Those choices, the consequences/repercussions of those choices (for good or ill) are all his and on him. They have nothing to do with you. Just keep all of this in mind IF he comes knocking on your door once again. So that you know what your getting before you sign up for the ride.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:44 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Yes, I have no intenton of interferring with whatever is going on now. It just makes me mad and I mostly needed to vent about it. Like I said - I wouldn't tell him the truth about my friend, about what was really going on back then because I don't want to seem petty and I wouldn't want him to think I'm making it up or that I'm saying it just to get him to lose interest. While I still miss him at times, because we always had good times together, he's lost his chance and I'd never give him another one. I haven't contacted him and he hasn't contacted me which suits me just fine.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:54 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Girl.. Just let that man be. Let him flounder.. lol He'll figure it all out, eventually. Life being what it is, he'll find out later than sooner, and kick himself in the ass for it.. Oh well. To bad so sad. He should have been wise enough, mature enough, and open enough, to see what he had/could have had, instead of running back and chasing something that will most likely never be his.

    You.. You'll have someone and something better come knocking on your door at some point and time. Think of it this way. With him and his mess out of the way off doing whatever. You will be free, ready, able, and willing when that something better comes knocking. :-)

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:59 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • first i think we all at one time or another ,get involved w an idiot!!! maybe they offer us what was missing in our previous relationship,, who knows,,,my advice,, is to open youe eyes andreally see if he is an idiot or pretending to be one for fear of relationship.. as for your friend she needs to focus on her 2 year old and , hopefully things will get better,, there is an old saying, if you love something,let it go, if it comes back it's yours and if it doesn't it never was,, goood luck to you and your friend,, and keep your chin up don;t give up one day you will find the one for you,and she will too,,,,,,,, god bless, and keep me posted,,,,,

    Answer by seexxymama4u2me at 7:10 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

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