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Older sibling acting out after bringing new baby home...

Our daughter is 3 1/2 years old and her behavior is outrageous. Has anyone else has this problem? How long did it last and what did you do to nip it in the butt? Also, She really likes the baby. She actually likes him a lot, I think that she is just not to keen on the idea of the baby getting so much attention. She is just acting out doing things that she would normally never do and her attitude is terrible and she is not listening to us at all. Please help!! Thank you so much.

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nat1387

Asked by nat1387 at 6:47 PM on Jan. 28, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 11 (597 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Give her plenty of one on one time with you and your SO. Make it all about her for awhile. That is some of the best advice I ever got. Take her to lunch and say she can go because she is a big girl and babies can't do that. Plus other such things. It worked wonders for our oldest. Make sure she knows you still love her and she is not being replaced. Plus make her your helper like getting diapers for you and simple things she can feel grownup about. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 6:55 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Our daughter did the same thing (same age gap too!!) She also started peeing on the floor although she was fully potty trained. We just kept up with the "new" routine, and made sure she knew that her sister wasn't taking over her part, and it stopped after a week or so. The peeing however stopped after the second time. She was put into time out and that worked quite well!
    ali_1107

    Answer by ali_1107 at 6:58 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • There's an adjustment period. My son was just under 3 when my daughter was born and I got the best advice from my substitute OB who had just had her second baby. She told me that every now and then she needed to tell the baby "You need to be patient and hold on a bit while I help/tend to/listen to (insert older child's name)" We're always telling the older child to be patient or "just a minute" and it really helps things if the older child hears you tell the baby, "just a minute while I help _____"

    My oldest loves to be my Helper with the baby. He feels important. You could tell there was a bit of "ownership" in the new baby b/c he was helping by bringing the wipes case or the baby's hat or other little tasks.

    But, yes, there will be times where she regresses and times where she acts out b/c she's realizing that she's not the center of your world now but things will even out in time. Good luck!
    LuckyPlusOne

    Answer by LuckyPlusOne at 6:59 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Mine are 25 months part and you need to have some one on one time with the older child. Asking them to help (not making them though) helped me and I always made it a point to make the baby wait sometimes while I finished up doing something for the older child. It was usually something as simple as I was pouring juice and would have waited to pick the baby up any way, but I made it a point to SAY that as I finished pouring the juice.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 7:47 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • awwww she wants attention
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 11:01 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • get her to help you out when you are doing something for the baby, whether it's something as simple as handing you the diaper during changing time or helping to put on lotion or something after bathtime. that's what helped my DD through the change when DS was born (she was 3 1/2 also at the time). it helped her to know that while i may not be able to give her all my attention at certain times (like when DS had to be changed/fed/bathed/etc) that i still needed her help and then when DS was asleep and I could give her my full attention she got to have cuddle time or reading time or whatever she wanted.
    Angelgirl25

    Answer by Angelgirl25 at 8:27 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • She is probably feeling mis-placed. my oldest acted out and regressed somewhat when his brother was born.
    Hang in there!! Just give her LOTS of love and some one-on-one when possible!!
    mkdirector2011

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 3:26 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

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