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Seriously?! WTF?! adult content

How many freaking guys in the world do NOT like ANY kind of sexual activity?! Really? No BJs, no sex, no experimenting on a willing chick, no interest in naked people, not getting easily turned on by doing things to them, etc.

Since we got together in high school, DH has always said that he doesn't like BJs because it makes him feel like he's using me or something, but tonight he went so far as to say that he guesses he just doesn't like sex in general. WTF?! We've been together about 5 years, and this comes out NOW? Sure explains why it takes him about as long as me to get ready, sometimes a lot longer. He's 23 freaking years old and has the sex drive a 110 year old!


Asked by Mrs.BAT at 10:11 PM on Jan. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 38 (105,028 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • mamax4our, my husband is 25 and has had low libido since he was 19. About 6 months after we started having sex. He has NO interest in finding the solution because HE HAS NO LIBIDO. It doesn't effect him in the slightest that he has no desire because he's not the one going without lol. He doesn't care that he has low libido except when I get pissy after it's been weeks since the last time we had sex, and then he only cares because I'm being a bitch :p Why would a man want to find a solution to a problem that isn't a problem for HIM? Men hate doctors, and that goes double when they are there to discuss sex. They're not going to actively try to find a solution to something they don't give two shits about.

    OP, sometimes you can find low cost or free marital counciling. Are you part of a coven? Sometimes clergy provides those services. You can even seek one out if you're not part of the coven (you are pagan, right? :p)

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:16 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • What's the chances he's gay and just doesn't get turned on by women? Not being rude, just wondering

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Asexuality affects about 1% of the population. It exists, it's real. Usually, people who find themselves in those relationships agree to seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere since their spouse is unable to meet their needs in that area, but stay together otherwise. It can work, but it's not easy.

    Is there a chance he was abused or traumatized in his past? Is the relationship good otherwise?

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:23 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • If a 23 yo man has a low libido, don't you think he would be ACTIVELY trying to find a solution to his problem? She said that he gets uncomfortable and snaps at her when the subject is brought up. I definitely don't think all men are "horn Dogs". But how she is explaining the situation sounds like he already knows whats going on with him and he isn't ready to talk about WHATEVER his problem is.

    No kidding he is uncomfortable talking about it. In our society, if men aren't over sexed, they can be considered not much of a man. Just look at some of the responses here. Most people think there is something wrong with him. Do you think he wants something to be wrong with him? Probably not. He is most likely avoiding the topic because if he avoids it, he doesn't have to think that something is wrong with him.

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:53 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Sounds like a trip to the dr is needed. Hope this gets better for you.

    Answer by treynlisa at 10:14 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • I was thinking the same thing" anonymous"! Maybe he is in denial and has not come to terms with his sexuality.

    Answer by mamax4our at 10:15 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Read these books

     "The Sex Starved Marriage"


    "The Sex Starved Wife"

     Both are by Michele Weiner-Davis

    She also has a website at



    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Howcome every time a woman posts a question with a husband with a lower libido than her he has to be gay? NOT ALL MEN ARE HORN DOGS, LADIES. It doesn't make him gay!

    Sorry, I get that all the time too. "Oh, he must be gay if he doesn't want to have sex with you all the time or at the drop of a hat." No, it's actually quite normal for a man to have a lower libido.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:26 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • How frustrating. Maybe there's a medical issue that needs to be dealt with

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 10:14 PM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • 0 chance. We have gay friends, he has no interest. I'm bi and he's very open about everything. His life pretty much revolves around his computer, math and his guitars.

    Comment by Mrs.BAT (original poster) at 10:14 PM on Jan. 28, 2011