Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you get over a divorce?

Hello,

Just asking myself too many question now, I have been married for 4 years, but for tricky roads of destiny we have been separated for over 2 1/2 years. At this point I am so tired of so many things. Specially because he has shown me a side of him that I know today I no longer want to even try to live with again.
I am just deciding, and I think in my daughter who is 3 now. How do you get over that?, How can I explain to her that if until now she hasn't been living with her father at all, she wont later?, Can this be done and be over it? Is it valid?

Is there a chance that I might find someone again????....I feel so doubtful because of my daughter.

Oh, and afraid because he has threatened me that he would do anything to take her away from me, that he doesn't care that I am the mom, that he really believes that she would get use to live without me and with him...its crazy!!.

Is there a lawyer out there that can tell me if this can be done???, I have been a stay at home mom up to this point. But I am starting to look for a job already because i am afraid that he would use me not working against me.

Anyway, any advice, anyway that has been in the same position?

Thank you

Answer Question
 
annetemm

Asked by annetemm at 12:17 AM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • being a SAHM can not be used against you. No judge in their right mind would uproot a child who is well cared for. Simple as that. He *will* be entitled to visitation, that is a given.
    My now ex said all of the same things... and much, much more. End of story is that I am the sole custodian, and he has limited supervised visitation.
    He simply wants to intimidate you. Don't let him.

    As for "getting over it".... well, can't help you there. I actually threw myself an "un-wedding" party. I was so friggin happy to be legally done with his shit!
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 12:28 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • May I ask how much did you spend on the divorce process??, because I feel uncertain on that too, since I am not working yet, but I do want to get it over with as fast as possible.
    annetemm

    Comment by annetemm (original poster) at 12:32 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Call a lawyer, your soon to be ex may even have to pay the lawyer, and don't let him scare you, it won't be easy for him to take your daughter from you.

    As for for getting over it, you get up every day and start planning and living the life you want for yourself and your daughter. Get a job, take some classes, get out of the house and do things, and as you start doing that, you'll get over the hurt, stress, fear and pain a little more each day. There are also divorce recovery groups that can help you through community organizations and churches, you may want to check that out. But just start being social again.

    As for finding a man.....I didn't want another man. I had a 4 year old son, was having a good time dating, but didn't want another relationship, then I met my husband, he's been a wonderful father to my son.....for the last 23 years........

    Hugs to you, and best wishes.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:43 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • 23 years!!!??? wow!! that sounds hope to me, thank you, I am in the search for a lawyer now. And I didn't know there were divorce recovery groups, wow, thank you, thank you!!.
    annetemm

    Comment by annetemm (original poster) at 12:50 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • You take it one day at a time and live your life to the fullest.
    debnich501960

    Answer by debnich501960 at 2:50 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.