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Pros and cons of adopting a tween

What are the pros and cons of adopting a tween? Do the pros outweigh the cons? We have been looking at kids of various ages that we would like to adopt and came across a couple kids who were tweens. We have come across boys and girls so any info you could over about tweens would be helpful! Thanks!

 
dragonqueen

Asked by dragonqueen at 12:40 AM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Adoption

Level 17 (4,207 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • Well they are potty trained! lol No midnight feedings or diaper changes! But I think its an excellent thing u r doing, too many people want to adopt babies. But as for what it would be like? Depends on the kid I guess. If they were in foster are for awhile, they will have attitudes. I dealt with that in the job I used to do alot. But for the most part, lots of love and attention, a WHOLE LOT of patience and understanding. Also depending on hiow long the have been in the system counts for alot too. I am sure u heard about foster care homes ang the horror stories, well probably about 90% of them are true. There are lot of kids that were treated like they were less then human. I seen dogs treated better. There some homes that are wonderful to the child and a happy ever after story, but unfortunately that is a rare incident. Before u do decide to adopt a tween, talk to the caseworker, get as much background as u possibly can.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:59 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • cont>>>> Some of those kids might have gotten their hopes up that they were going to a loving family at last only to discover that the people couldn't handle them. Some kids will test your patience to the limit and sometimes beyond, kinda like their own version of a test to see if u are for real. But then again, they could be the nicest child u could ever hope for. But in any case, and like any tween they push limits and boundaries. Again u r doing such a wonderful thing, and I bless u for that, and good luck.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:05 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • We have thought about it and we are adoptive parents to a wonderfully active little boy. The advantage to a tween or even a teen....you most likely will have a history of development. You know more about cognition, skills, strengths, and also areas that a child may have some difficulty with. A young child, toddler or infant, you have no clue what that will be like. Part of my desire for an older child is that I don't want to worry about will she talk? Will she hit all of her mile stones? Are there any learning issues?  As a perspective parent to an older child you are able to clearly lay out for the case worker what your strengths are and what your limitations are as a parent.  It can be harder for an older child to accept this is the forever family and home.  Which means you just have to work harder, for years, to be available and keep reassuring and proving that you are the real deal. 

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:01 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Saving for college and buying a car are my concerns. I want a car for the part time job, to and from activities, and to and from college when that day comes. Also saving for college becomes a little bit more pressured. Some states pay for college for children adopted as teens as a way to ease that worry for perspective parents. And for me - making sure it is a good fit for the foster child as well as my son. The good news: you do have time. Adoption won't happen over night. The tween/teen has a say in if this is a good fit from their perspective. They can turn you down. You have time as parents to decide if you can parent this child and provide this child with all of their needs to the best of your abilities.  If we adopt again this is so attractive to me that I can't help but be drawn to this option.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:06 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Pros Help a teen be better person
    and cons some of them have sentimental depressions or cant behaive easy to your values
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 7:20 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

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