I think I mentioned before that I was given guardianship of my grandson last year because of his mom's illness, she and my son (his father) have not been together for years, he married someone else. and I am trying to convince my grandson how important it is to form some type of relationship with his father. My grandson tells me that he only feels comfortable being here at home and would rather for his father and little brother visit him here. Apparently his father speaks to him harshly and my grandson feels uncomfortable being around him.
I had my grandson call his father this evening and explain to him why he rather have him come visit him here at home rather than go to hid father's home and it didn't go to well. When I got on the phone to speak to myself trying to get him to try to understand, he got angry and so did his wife. She and my son feel that I should just make my grandson visit them but I can't do that. You see, my grandson's mom is very ill, she is at the end of her disease and this child knows she has gotten worse and knows that she is slowly dying, he just doesn't talk about it.
Anyway, my daughter-in-law was making her little comments and again, I let her get to me, it resulted in a very loud argument between she and myself and more. I am angry with myself because I allowed her to push my buttons again. I understand that my son's and my youngest grandson's feelings are hurt because this one I have refuses to visit them. I suggested that the grandson I have visited for a few hours after we visit his mom tomorrow and then letting it go from there but apparently, that's not enough according to my son ( his father) and his wife and I should just pack him up and make him go to their home whether he wants to or not. Now you tell me what am I suppose to do. This child has been abused in the past by relatives and here at home is his safety zone. Should I force out of his safety zone and make him visit his father at their home or just keep letting him set the pace. I have been accused of babying him, spoiling him, or manipulating him. He's 12, and as God as my witness, I listen, not manipulate.
Answer by tiamesmer at 1:45 AM on Jan. 29, 2011
No. I absolutely don't think that he should be forced to go over there. His dad and his wife getting angry, don't let that bother you. You are doing a beautiful thing and I commend you. It's not about what THEY feel like should happen, YOU are the one keeping his best interest in mind. I would tell them that they can come see him or that we will all stop over there but no, I would not force him to.
Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:31 AM on Jan. 29, 2011
Answer by Kellyjude1 at 10:02 AM on Jan. 29, 2011
Answer by tiamesmer at 10:07 AM on Jan. 29, 2011