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Out of town husband.....

Im 23 with a 1 year old, and I have been married 2 yrs. Well Im a stay at home mom and I love it. But my husband works out of town. He has no intrest in looking for work at home, he says he cant make that kinda money around here. So I say okay....Well Im really starting to get sick of being alone and being a single parent. I didnt get married to be alone for the rest of my life. I hate it....I dont know what to do. I dont feel that Im in love with him anymore, But I hate to have to go threw a divorce because then I will still be alone....Im just stuck....Has anyone been where I am....or know what I can do about this....I want so bad to make it work, but I dont want to have to spend the rest of my life being alone ......

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Maybe he is happy at his job and doesnt want to change. be happy when he does come home. Try to be a little more supportive, marriage take work, trust me you may get those days that you wish he was gone longer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • My husband is out of town ALOT for work. That doesn't mean I'm going to find someone to keep me company. There are alot of women out there that would give anything to find a man that is willing to hold down a job. I think you need to rethink what you really want in a relationship. It's not all fun and games. If your husband is supporting you and you able to stay home with the kids... you should consider yourself lucky!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Can you move closer to his job? I wouldn't be happy with that arrangement either. But don't end your marriage over it, hon. Talk to him about how desperately miserable you are becoming and resolve to work out a solution together. I know it feels like life will suck forever, but NOTHING lasts forever. The way careers go, it is highly unlikely that he'll be in this job forever, even if he wanted to.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 8:48 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • How long is he out of town usually? my hubby works out of town as well and isnt gone for more than 2 days at most. It doesnt really bother me that much because even when he isnt out of town working, he still doesnt help much at home.
    lilmans_mommy

    Answer by lilmans_mommy at 8:59 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • it is hard hun. im an army wife..he was gone for a year overseas while i was being a single mom to a newborn..first time mommy.
    its hard..itr trying..sometimes you just want to cry and run away.

    but if you get thru it ...the relationship gets stronge rover time..provided you have good communication, absolute trust, love, affection. make sure ot spend lots of time together when he's home
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 9:02 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Does he work out of town as in a regular town or does he move to different towns alot? Because if it's just a regular town maybe you should talk to him about moving the whole family there.
    Pudge_Pie20

    Answer by Pudge_Pie20 at 9:09 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Well...Im sure..your unhappy there alot of un happy women out there but..alot of hubbys do go out of town to work...im sure you spend the mans money....when he brings it home..so..really ..you shouldnt complain...

    why dont you just tell him..i want to control everything including your job...you can work at the local mikki d's
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Talk to him about how you're feeling...are you really not loving him anymore, or are you just lonely? If you're not happy with him but don't want to divorce him because you're still alone...well, that's a poor reason to stay in a marriage!

    Are you willing to live smaller to be closer to where he works? Maybe in an apartment (or a smaller one, if you already live in one)? Or can you live less expensively so you can live there? Cheaper vehicles, give up some extras, whatever?
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 10:03 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I think you should completely disregard anon 8:58. My husband is in the Navy, he has been gone since June and he won't be home until April of 09. I gave birth to my son in July a month after my husband left, I wasn't even allowed to talk to him until the next day the only reason that he knew I was in labor is because he just happened to get a phone call the day I went into the hospital. Now my point is, I know exactly how you feel. I love my son and my husband but it's hard. Life sucks. I want to quite sometimes, I really do. But you can't, because you love your child and on some level you must still love your husband or else you wouldn't even try to make it work. So just try to do the best with what you've got and eventually things will get better for you.
    GigantaursMommy

    Answer by GigantaursMommy at 10:10 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Love is a teeter-totter. At first things are hot-n-rockin' for both of you, it is balanced. Then one of you get busy with work or busy working at home and that end goes down, making the other person feel like there is so big a distance between you both. Then things level out and both of you are feeling exhausted by work or used to it-but it just seems kind of level again then things get out of wack again. Convey to him your feelings. It may not be a good place to try to get an equal paying job at home. He could work from home two days a week. or work more hours in less days. He could relieve your duties for one day and share the duties with you the others. He may not realise that you do the same amount of work as he, deal with a kid(s), are stuck at home and never get paid. It may be the time to go back to work to suppliment the household income so he doesn't have to make so much and can work closer to home.
    GMOTM

    Answer by GMOTM at 10:36 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

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