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How can i modivate my brother to move out?

My 21 year lod brother has been living with us for 7 months. self centered, not concederate of others things and tries to disaplain my kids and tells me how to disapline. DOESNT PAY BILLS. maybe bought groceries twice. DOESNT have car so i have to plan things around his schedule or he argues. had a job but quit. self medicated bi polar disorder with rage (why he is no longer in the marine corps). gets irrate if ANYONE calls him a kid. he is not responsable. he says he is looking for a place but it doesnt seem like it.
I NEED MY HOUSE AND PRIVACY BACK!!!!!!! HELP.
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VDietrich

Asked by VDietrich at 9:23 AM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,069 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • tell him to get the hell out by a certain day. He is not going to go anywhere unless you push him
    LuvMyMedic3ID

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 9:26 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Set a deadline and enforce it.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 9:38 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I would search for a room and pay for it for three moths in advance. That time should be enough for him to sort out his life. I would move all of his things there and give him the keys to the house. Tell him that was the only thing you can do for him. And if he wants people to think about him as a grown up than he has to put some thing on the table. He can go to a jobcenter and find a job. And he can start to be responsible for himself. 21-year-old is a grown up age. He could wait tables or pack camions or whatever. You have your own family now and you have to be firm with your brother otherwise he will stay in your house and ruin your life for years. Send him to a doctor and ask for treatment if he really is bi-polar. But if he is only lazy than just let him to grow up.
    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 9:42 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Do not make it cushy for him to live there! I just got rid of a similar problem! I said it was time to get along and we set a timeline together. I stopped buying groceries that were mostly used by her, or strictly for her. I stopped catering to her schedule. I didn't consult her about what she needed if I had things to do or was going shopping. I no longer washed her dishes or gathered her laundry to wash with ours. We shut the cable off in her room. She took her full 3 months to save to move out, but she's out.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 9:59 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • if he truly has attacks and it's disturbing to you just think if you have any children around what impacts it has on them. Has he made an appointment for counseling and rehab, or at least try to get disability. If he has in fact done some things and it's not showing up yet, but it's brands in the fire.. give some time to let it work through the system. Don't offer him any thing, money, food, etc, you have done enough and just keep quiet and leave your home as much in order as you like, if he isn't keeping his end up in the home any"more" let him know that you are ''DISPLEASED'', and set a time, day, month, etc, and give him the boot when it's up. He will then have to go to a shelter. That is all that you can expect to happen. Seriously anything else it will revolve another year
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • he has been professionally diagnosed bi polor and does occasioanally have episodes in front of my 3 young kids. i have anxiety and this doesnt help with my stress. he has been given since the first of the year....well, it is the end of january already. thanks ladies for all the advice, im gonna have to find what works for us and apply it. gonna have to get my hubby to step up and talk to him too!!!!!!
    VDietrich

    Comment by VDietrich (original poster) at 10:54 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • You don't motivate him to move out, you tell him. SStry calm and don't let his rants get to you. Just tell him you realize that he is not happy living with you and he should find his own place and be gone within two weeks. When he starts giving excuses, tell him that you're sure he will figures something out.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 2:28 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

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