I have been supporting my neighbor that is suffering domestic abuse. I had suspected that things were not right in her house, but recently she has opened up to me about the abuse. I have been listening to her, trying to "build" her up, and urging her to get help. When I realized how serious the situation was, I contacted the domestic abuse hot line and asked how I could help as a friend. They urged me to not put the husband down (she probably still loves him), but to continue with the urging to get help.
My friend called me the other morning and asked for help moving out. She and her husband have been trying separation, but he's still not leaving her alone. He still drops by and calls a lot. They are now losing their home and she is moving to her brothers house down the road. Evidently he had called her that morning and had changed his mind about how they could divide the furniture. We talked alot that morning and I pointed out the abuse (Last week he was buying roses, one day he's being sad, now he was being mean). I told her she was doing the right thing leaving and that I would help her all that I can. I also told her that if there's something that she wants in her home, to let my husband's friend buy it and then she could buy it back. That all the drama would not be worth it.
I got a phone call from the husband that afternoon (about one hour after I notice his car at their house while she was at work). He started out friendly, asking if his son got home from school- which he had never done before. Then he quickly got nasty and said "that 3rd party thing you were talking about with the furniture is not necessary". I told him I would not talk to him about their relationship, and kept repeating that when he kept talking. He did not come out and threaten me, but I definitely felt threatened. I told him he couldn't pull that crap with me and hung up the phone. I was also thinking how in the world did he know our conversation??? I kept the children at my house until my friend came home. (I couldn't reach her on her cell). When she got home she said that she had met her husband at the library after work. He had already told her about the incident, and that he had a tap on her phone. I'm sure he was trying to limit the damage. (She said she knew he did this with his first wife also). I spoke to her on her cell phone that morning, how could he have taped or listened to that?
I know that this man is not stable. He has been admitted repeatedly to mental hospitals. The police have been called to their home several times. I made a police report about the incident and the police told me that he is already on their "watch" list. They already suspect the abuse. Now he sees me as a person that is supporting her leaving.Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by rio_burb at 9:47 AM on Jan. 29, 2011
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Answer by gemgem at 10:01 AM on Jan. 29, 2011
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Answer by bookmommy at 10:31 AM on Jan. 29, 2011
Answer by parajumper3 at 10:40 AM on Jan. 29, 2011
Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:23 AM on Jan. 29, 2011
Answer by admckenzie at 12:01 PM on Jan. 29, 2011
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