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How do you deal with "friends" who always have issues with anything you do?

I have this couple who are friends of ours-sorta..anything I mention, they have done it before, but better. They always have opinions on anything I say or do and of course had better ideas, almost looking down on me. Don't get me wrong, they are great people and can be really nice but sometimes their one upmanship really bothers me. How can I deal with this without ruining the friendship. I have known him since Jr High, and she's his new wife of a couple years.

 
bookmommy

Asked by bookmommy at 11:08 AM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (876 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You'll have friends and you'll have acquaintances. Friends (and you are a friend, too) are few and far between. It's okay to "not be there" because friends understand that. Your friends will also change as you get older and you will experience many different types. Most people are acquaintances and unless you like sharing your private life with the entire world or even family members, talk to your husband. He should be your friend and you both have the same joys, bills, children, responsibilities....who else would you have so much in common with....? Men just lack the emotional gene sometimes. That's why we are here....to worry about somebody else who really isn't our friend! Be cordial and mention the weather. You'll be proud. Take it from someone who loves to talk.
    kbutts

    Answer by kbutts at 11:21 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • ~*Smiles*~ and keep most things to your self? Stick to small chat that might still be meaningful?

    But for the most part... I agree, those kinds of people annoy me and I usually stay the hell away from them! Than again, I do not like fake people so I am not towards others??? Meaning all people know where they stand with me and why... rather hurt some feeling and step on toes than have people think they know me when they don't
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 11:12 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • The way I handle people like that is to say nothing around them that they can use for fodder to try to make themselves look good. When I have to be around them, I smile a lot and answer questions if I am directly asked one, with a yes or no, if that's possible. If it's not, then I answer with as little as can be said, and the question still be given a civil answer. These people are all about themselves and not the best candidates for friendship.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:18 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • That is frustrating... Or even worse is, when you mention something you plan on doing, or want to do, and *BAM* suddenly that exactly what they are doing or planning.... It's sad. It's usually because they are very unhappy with themselves, and feel the need to lie about how good they have it, in an attempt to convince themselves they are happy.
    I just ignore them, just smile and nod. I do, because they really are just living their life, trying to catch up to everyone, or make people think they need to keep up with them...
    Just another way people try and make themselves feel important, because nothing in their life does that for them.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:41 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I use to be friends with people like this (only I am not so much anymore because we moved so far away from them), I used talked to the person I had been friends with the longest and brought it up to them that hey I love being friends with you but why do you have to always try and one up us, I found out what they said they did they really didnt do they just wanted to feel like they are been more into the things we had, thought it was a playful thing to sound like they had..If you have been friends with him for so long I would just talk to him about it
    Lyndsey250

    Answer by Lyndsey250 at 11:13 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I had a best friend like that...
    She always thought she knew what was best for me and had an opinion about everything. After 6 years, i'd had enough! We were moving across country and I figured i'd let the friendship fade over time. Instead, we ended up in a huge fight at my going away party and never talked again. I don't miss her and I've done very well without her opinions. She said she was 'scared' for me because she wasn't going to be here to 'protect' me. wtf???? Since I moved 8 years ago, I've graduated college, bought a house, and had a baby. I don't think I need her protection!
    The point of my story is that you need to cut these ppl out of your life. I did and it feels great!
    Mel_in_PHX

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 11:14 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • We had two sets of friends like that. Tried to deal with it politely and let it slide for years but finally just couldn't any longer. We only hear from them through newsy Christmas cards now.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 11:17 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Ignore them. They aren't real friends if they treat you this way.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:18 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • It's hard because they are "facebook Friends" as well, so I get to see their comments every time I post. I know if i remove them, it'll cause a huge stink..
    bookmommy

    Comment by bookmommy (original poster) at 11:24 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I have friends like that I have now made acquaintances. Lifes too short. Its bad enough dealing with my mil who is always that way (and sometimes my mom is lol) then having to handle friends like that.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:24 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

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