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How to forget him?

Four years ago he broke me like dropping glass on concrete. We were together for 3 years. (NO Kids, Thank God) Anyways he was my world, I gave him everything I could manage to give. He was amazing to me until one day he completely changed. I'm serouis, you can say people don't change in one day well damnit he did. The day before we broke up it was just like another day. Enjoying being with each other, having fun etc. The next day he was at work, told me to come see him & he broke up with me there. He said " I need more experience before I know we can be together forever. I just need a little space." It just didn't make sense to me. He said "you have dated alot of people I havn't and I need to figure this out" Ok fine I gave him a month and I decided to move on, it hurt way too much to watch him with all these others girls ( I should say we were each others first and he was my only until hubby) so I moved on and reuntied with a friend of mine. I always knew(while I was with the ex) we (friend & I) could be more than friends but I loved the ex. (We'll just call him Bob.) So after a little while into my new relationship Bob trys to get me back for another 2 years. And it really tested the new relationship it really showed me n "Bill" (Bill is the friend) (boyfriend for a year then hubby the 2nd year), how much we wanted out relationship & really how much we could take...(You can see who won lol) Anyways Bob really was an amazing guy. When Bob I are broke up I started seeing the changes in him that I hadn't before and now I hate who he is but I can't forget who he use to be and it hurts cause I know we could have been happy. Don't get me wrong I am deeply in love with my husband, I am blessed to have him and I"m happier that I have him instead of Bob. but it hurts still when I remember the good times we had. I don't want him back in no way shape or form. I just want to forget that part of him. (his sister is my bestfriend, so on occaison I do see him) When I do see him I see the old him, not the jackass bob. How can I forget the old bob? And really see how he is. I just want to forget those 3 years....and finally just really move on. I was so blind!! ......I have been with hubby for 4 years, I just wish that those 3 years could have been with him instead of Bob. Hubby & I have discussed this because he doesn't understand why I was with such a jackass and I try to explain he didn't use to be like that. & hubby doesn't get jealous because well he has me not bob. He doesn't like to see me hold on to hurt like that. Help me move on.....

If you plan on saying anything negivate just don't. I really don't need it.

Answer Question
 
rebel07

Asked by rebel07 at 12:52 PM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,231 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • hugging ~*Hugs*~


     

    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 12:59 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Well the best advice I can offer you is remember the good times you guys had BUT don't dwell in the past. Be glad you have a wonderful husband and family that love and care for you and think the world of you! And as far as "Bob" goes the best thing to do is try and forget about him now. If you need to, go to a counselor and talk about it. They can help you sort thru all your feelings that you're having about him. But whatever you decide to do good luck!
    Bird16_J

    Answer by Bird16_J at 1:12 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Just have to stop thinking about the past.... distract yourself when you start daydreaming about "what could of been"
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 1:27 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • in the past when i have needed to get over someone all i do is think about the bad things they did to me and how much pain they caused me. it really helps. i think about how it was there loss and not mine. and you should think the same way. he even tried to get back with you cause he realized he messed up. well to him i say to bad and you should show him how happy you are now with your dh. if it wasn't for him breaking you, you wouldn't be with your dh today. everything happens for a reason. just go on with your life and try to not think about him as much. i know its hard but its time. dwelling on the past isn't gonna change what happened. good luck

    Christieluv0614

    Answer by Christieluv0614 at 1:30 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I have experienced something similar. My first boyfriend and I were together for 5 1/2 years and had a similar break-up. He too just morphed in to someone that I didn't know ( in addition to cheating on me) It was really hard for a year and then slowly I began rebuilding who I was. We still had mutual friends, and he would still call me. But I could see how and heard much he had changed and he wasn't who I had dated, who I had falling in love with years ago. You have to be very honest with yourself and not focus on the "then" but really see things for the way that they were and the way they are now.

    Opie99

    Answer by Opie99 at 2:28 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Make that I heard from others and I could see how much he had changed!
    Opie99

    Answer by Opie99 at 2:29 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I totally understand what you are feeling. This is what I did. I am the type of person who needs closure, so, I had written a letter to my ex boyfriend and then burnt it and moved on. I still get depresses whenever I hear our favorite song or have seen a movie together that is now TV. Having the strength to accept closure is the key!! Hugs and GL!!
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 5:06 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • As the years go by, the emotional side of the memories will fade. I've been there. I'll never forget great times w/past boyfriends, but it doesn't hurt anymore. I don't think about "what if". We are who we are today because of past experiences. They were a part of us, but we have grown and moved on. What we have now is what we have to focus on. Best wishes. It does get better with time.
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 12:15 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

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