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2 Bumps

wicked SM and spoiled step sisters?

My ex and I have 2 dd together (6 & 8). When we divorced 2 years ago, he moved into a new place and I got our old place but in order to make his new place seem like home for both our children, I bought the exact bedroom sets for his house as they have at home, they go to his house EOW so I felt it was important for them to feel like this was their home too. Now, 2 years later, he is moving his fiance' and her 2 dds in his house. He told me this and said that her girls are gonna get his office (he has a 4 bedroom house). Now, my oldest just called me upset, saying that she and her sister are gonna share a room and the fiance's dds are getting their own rooms. Also, the fiance's dds are gonna get their bedroom sets and they are getting her dds "junky" bunk beds. So I called their dad and asked what was going on. He said that because her dds are there 50/50 and his are only there EOW, her dds should get their own rooms. I said that it was crappy to do that to his dds but, as it is not my home, I have no say BUT I bought those bedroom sets so if my dds aren't using them, I want them back, between the 2 of them, they were about $2600 (plus a couple hundred for the matresses) and I didn't spend that kind of money for other people's children. He said he understood and promised that at least her dds would not use my dds bedsets. About an hour later, his fiance' called and said that this is her home now and she has every right to rearrange the furniture. I told her that if there is ONE more problem, I will take back the bedroom sets back as I bought them and I would rather sell them then let her children use them. I just can't belive that someone would take my children's beds that I bought for them. Why would this woman think that she can do this? I worry this is just the tip of the iceburg and I will not let her think that she can make my children second class in their father's home.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (8)
  • Oh it probably is the tip of the iceburg. I would go there and get the sets today and not even wait. Id sell them and get your dds a nice bunk bed set for them to use there and use whatever is left over on something they want for themselves.
    Start documenting NOW any and every conversation you have with her and your ex. Some stuff he might not be aware of, some he might. This way you can say on this date at this time she said this. You need to cover your own butt in the event she causes problems later. Hopefully she wont, but I have been through 4 step moms (3 w/ first ex & 1 w/2nd ex) & 2 of them have been nightmares. They all started in similar ways. They are just trying to exert control over the situation. You have to stand your ground and represent your dds best interests.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:57 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Wow that is so nice of you to do that for your girls. Your ex hubby can't see how this is upsetting your kids? Wow. He is your ex for a reason and I can see that. Sorry mama.
    2tinyhineys

    Answer by 2tinyhineys at 4:03 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Stick to your guns and don't let them walk all over you.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 4:04 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • you go girl! your poor girls. i totally know how they feel
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 4:05 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • If the other girls are there all the time and yours aren't then I can understand the room thing, BUT the bed thing is ridiculous. If you bought them for your girls, then the other girls shouldn't be sleeping in them! Take them back and sell them and go buy decent bunkbeds like someone else said. Your girls shouldn't get the crappy beds so her kids can sleep in theirs! She can buy them herself!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • PS I'm also thinking if you got a nice wooden bunkbed or something that it wouldn't hurt to pay a little extra to have your girls' names put on there in a pretty design - just so there's no confusion over whose bed it is :) (i.e. so your girls don't get the "junky" bed)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I understand their dad has the right to chose who gets what room (even though I think it is kinda crappy to take the rooms from his own dd) but my main issue is the bed sets. The problem is that both bed sets wont' fit in one room so if they have to share a room, they can't use them. That's why I am thinking that if they have to share a room, I should just take the beds back. My sister in law said she would buy them from me for $1250 (I think that is a good deal). However, if that happens, I am not buying more beds (who's to say they still won't get the crappy bunk bed and her girls get the new onew?) If she wants to "rearrange" the furniture, they can buy it
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:34 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I would go get the bedroom sets and wash your hands of the situation and take the money and you and your girls go do something together.
    Candie2008

    Answer by Candie2008 at 4:51 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

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