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16 Bumps

Oh for the love of heaven.

My ex is behind in his child support... I've never taken him to court...he agreed to pay 100 bucks a month, and has not paid since November.

He was a year behind before that.

My husband is slightly agitated. Our money is very tight, and the little bit he does give doesn't cover ANYTHING.

and he's so slimy and shady I literally cannot believe a word that comes out of his mouth. So when he said they were having money problems, I didn't really believe him and now I'm freaking out because my daughter just got home and they don't have any FOOD. No FOOD.

My daughter was hungry after meals there and so was his daughter and her son and they didn't have any milk or snacks and his daughter is six and was wearing a shirt sized 18 months and has no long sleeved shirts and nothing warm.

I feel so guilty for asking him for support. Ugh. And I don't know how to help. I can't give him money... for many, many reasons..

and I can't send my kid there not to get fed.

and there is the lice sitch. I don't really want to drag this into court, we've gone this far... I'm going to post this anon so it doesn't come up with a google of my screen name.
I can't handle the thought of that little girl going hungry and cold. Oh my heavens my heart is breaking right now. Does anyone have any ideas on how to fix this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (35)
  • You need to call CPS. I know that get thrown around alot,but a kid starving.....that needs to be fixed
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:30 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • call cps on his behind . he should be a man and provide for his family, he was man enough to have kids ...u should not feel guilty for asking him to financially support the kid he helped create..he needs to get off his butt and work 2 jobs ! there is no excuse for a man not to support his kids unless he is physically handicapped.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 7:34 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • can you send a cassarole or something when she goes to visit? It's not exactly sending money, but can be seen as a generous act.

    And about lice - I use FairyTales Lice Repel Shampoo, Conditioner and Spray Shield and my DD5 didn't get lice this fall even though several kids in her class got it. It's a little pricey, but so is the time and effort you spend getting rid of them!!
    MeggieSwan

    Answer by MeggieSwan at 7:34 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • yes you have to call csb. you cannot let his other kids live like that. obviously he is at some rock bottom but that doesnt make it okay for him not to have enough food for his kids or enough heat. no do not send your dd there - it would be neglectful. he has to learn to support himself and to stop being a slimball. so you just do it - it is the right thing. you wont have to worry - you can get supervised visits for dd becaue they will find his parenting unfit. so you wont have to take away her daddy = and those visits should not be at his house if they are supervised so you wont have to worry for her safety either. you cannot change him - only he can change him - you can motivate thhat change though.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 7:35 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • You should call CPS. Their home situation needs to be fixed.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 7:42 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I normally don't advocate calling CPS, but if the kid(s) do not have food or warm clothing, something needs to be done. Maybe they will be able to get them in contact with other agencies that can help them.

    I agree, you shouldn't feel guilty about asking him to provide help for the child you created together.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 7:48 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • 1 don't feel bad, he is supposed to pay child support and if he can't, he shouldn't have had more children. 2 If things are that bad over there, they need to go on PA. I would call your ex and tell him he can have her for a couple hours but as he can't feed her enough, she shouldn't be over there for long, if he has a problem with it, he can explain to a judge why the children aren't being fed.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:49 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Can you really believe him? Have you seen his house? His frig? I think you should worry about your own kids and family. JMO
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:49 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Nothing is going to change unless you take the action to make the changes. I didnt want to court either, who does? It is the only way for him to get it through that thick skull of his that you will not tolerate this anymore. Food? Really he cant come up with some mac and cheese even? He is playing a game and its hurting your child, go to court and get child support set up, get visitation set up. Heck, go for supervised visitation, dont have to worry about him feeding them then. If your heart is breaking, use that for good and take him to court
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 7:54 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • It's MY daughter saying all this. She was hungry and sad that her little sister was afraid to ask for a snack.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:56 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

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