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how can i talk to my 3 year old about her dead grampa?

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Asked by NatalieG. at 10:28 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • You could read her a book. There are some really good toddler age books you can probably find at the library that answer their questions in a kid-friendly way. And depending on you religious beliefs you could find some at a Christian bookstore. Good Luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Honestly, but in kid language. Tell her grandpa is a better place and if there is someone else who has passed that she would recognize the name you can say that he went to be with them and he can't come back. When my DD was 3 she couldn't grasp the idea and giggled through the funeral we took her to. Everyone loved that she was still happy. It reminded them that the world didn't end and life will go on, to always remember the happy things.

    Answer by sadfairytale at 10:36 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I was told that my grandfather died at that age also. I spent a lot of time with him and loved him so much! I would wait for him every morning so, I still remember the day they told me. My cousin told me that he had gone on a long, long trip and it might be a long, long time before we see him again. I remember picturing my grandfather with a suit on and a small luggage and a hat on taking the train. Somehow I understood that I would not see him again and I was sad but it was a gentle way of letting me know not expect him the next morning. (He worked at a chocolate factory and would bring me chocolates every morning) - I still miss him.

    Answer by Avon_Calling at 2:35 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • My mother in law passed away over three years ago, we have a big painting of her in our living room, my son it's four. What I told him is that she is in heaven and she watches over him. He has mention he sees her, or sometimes that he misses her, eventhough they didn't even met, she was in another country. But I keep telling him that she watches over him along with God, she takes good care of us. As simple as that, maybe also keep a picture of her grandpa' near by where she can see him.

    Answer by jcampos at 10:12 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • Talk to her in a way that corresponds to your philospophy and beliefs....and given her age keep it simple. From your question I don't know if she knew him or you just want to share information about someone that was important to you...but either way, just be reassuring and simple and talk about what is meaningful to you.

    Answer by BJoan at 1:24 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I just had to go through this with my 4 yr old daughter. Her great grandma passed away nov/5
    I told her that grandma went to heaven and she is an angel watching over us. We had gone to see her in the hospital ( she was still able to talk and sit up at this point) to bring her a card and visit. Then she became gravely ill and I would not let my daughter see her that way.( on morphine and in a hospice house barely hanging on). Then my daughter got sick (pucked all over her bed) and she turns to my hubby and me saying in a whisper voice " I dont want to go to heaven just yet mommy" Ok so the tears flowed then even had my hubby all choked up I wonder if I told her the right thing?

    Answer by penguin2250 at 3:00 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • My older brother was killed seven years ago, at the age of thirty-four, he was my only sibling and was my everything. My son, who is named after my borother, is three and a half and obviously never knew my brother. My brother and his memory is such an important part of my life that I want his memory to be a part of my son's as well. There are many pictures of my brother around my house. I talk to my son all the time about my brother. If he see's a picture he knows that is uncle John, even though he never met him. I take my son to the cemetary with me and I let him pick out the flowers and he helps maintain the headstone and place the flowers. He knows his uncle is in heaven and he is our angel. By being open and talking to my son in a way that he understands, it makes my brother a part of his life and is very catartic for me as well.

    Answer by Johnathonsmomy at 12:59 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • we recently lost a friend of ours in a motorcycle accident and we had to take our daugter with us when we went to the funeral home. We just told her that he was in heaven with Jesus and that we would see him again someday.

    My gradparents on my dad's side passed away in 1992 (grandma) and 1998 (grandpa) and my mom's dad passed away in 2000.

    When she sees photos of them and asks about them I tell her that they passed away before she was born and that they are with Jesus.


    Answer by deltadawn1975 at 8:38 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

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