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Child Custody!!

Iam 20 years old and i have a 3 year old son.born in 2007. i moved to GA in September of 2008 frm boston mass..iam going thru child support right now but iam in the process of going through for filing for sole custody of my son.. his father lives in boston he hasnt seen his son for 2 years since i lived here but 3 since my son was born cuz he was never around.. if i go thru with this will his father have a chance of getting him..he started sending money 150 every 2 weeks since may of 2010 which is not enough..i dont ever argue about money when he sends it just that he is never afraid that he would have a chance and win custody of my child.. i dnt want him to have any custody of my son ever since my son was born his father and his grandma been trying to take him from me..i dnt mind visitation with me around or being in the same city but i wanna settle with everything and get things done..child support is still in process but i would like to file for full custody. i been in a relationship for 2 years now engaged. we both had a daughter together in 2009 and he has help so much like a thank u cant cover for all the things he has done for my son he has done more then his father can do in a year.. all this back and forth and money stuff is kinda taking over because i would like to work things out and continue to live life drama free.. its so much going on i cnt even fit it here but i guess what im tryna to say is whats the chance of him getting custody of my son and how is the process of going through this battle what should i exspect or do to help me get this done and to have the result come out on my behalf..just the thought of losing my son kills me no one is perfect but i try my hardest to care for my child an i dnt want all my hard work to go to someone who takes credit for all the things that i do.. what did u do and what helped?

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Asked by ProudMami1990 at 10:50 PM on Jan. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 6 (121 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • a lot of men say that they will take the child. in reality it would tie him down. when i got divorced my ex threatened me all the time of taking custody of our 3 children. he kept me crying all the time. my mom told me to tell him to go ahead and take them. (of course i would never let him) so i did and he never said it again! he just used it to keep me upset and when he thought he was going to be tied down, no way

    Answer by Dianakk at 10:57 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Child support and visitation are two different subjects. If your ex chooses to he can go to court and establish visitation.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 11:07 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • thats what im saying right now he going out clubing drinking with his new girl spending money he say he dont have and he wants to take my son he would call crying or threathening me and shyt i be like i know u living ur life the way u want to u aint gotta worry about ur son getting sick who gonna take care of him and so and so shyt i been home cnt do nothing even if i did i would miss them and think of my kids i know that he is just tryna get custody because of the thought of another man being in his life and that he calls daddie..u cant expect a kid who never saw u or know u to be comfortable with u in ur house with a new girl..he is very selfish i know his ins and his outs and he think he gon play me like im stressing so bad and theres nothing i can do but continue to care for my kid.if u man enough to have a kid be man enough to care for them..and tust aint no hoe gon care for my son just saying sorry..frustraing situation

    Comment by ProudMami1990 (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • im trying to get full custody what the chances of him getting custody also? visitation will be after i file for sole custody..once the court grant me sole custody i would be fine with visitation i just want the custody to be set like i would make descions for my son and so forth

    Comment by ProudMami1990 (original poster) at 11:14 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • How is $150. of child support every 2 weeks not enough for one child? That is a lot of child support money for one child. The child support money is not supposed to cover all of the child's expenses, the parent who has custody is supposed to cover part of the child's expense too. They supposed to pay their part too.

    Answer by Honda309 at 11:16 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I only get $200 a month for my 2 yr old...they go according to the age and income of both parents. As far as custody goes, he would have to establish that you are an unfit mother before he would even be considered for full custody. If he wants to have joint custody he can file for that and fight against you wanting full custody. I think you have a good chance of getting full custody just because he hasn't been in your sons life, but if your ex doesn't agree then the judge will have to decide.
    I will tell you that my sister has a son that she raised alone for 7 years, no support, no contact, no anything from the father. Then out of nowhere he showed up, got joint custody, visitation, and even got the lastname changed on the birth certificate. Completely turned his world upside down. But the judge let it happen and my sister couldn't do anything about it.
    Hopefully, you will have better luck

    Answer by hoping73 at 11:31 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • well first off 150 is not enough for anything..and on top of that he is the reason y i cant get my son on medicare and im not gonna be paying 8000 for every visit to hospital when he has an asthma attck..second he didnt start helping me till may of 2010 when i told him i was gonna put him on child support so he though if he would send money i would drop it but im not going to risk my sons life for someone who dont give a damn about him..and iam paying my exspenses most of and all of it..he sends 150 every 2 weeks and wanna stop paying for 5 months and start again while im the one who raise my son since he was born while im going to school and aint no one wanna help me but when i lefted and got myself into a stable relationship he wanna come through and take all my credit and send money just so my son will know him as a father if u werent a father to him now u will never be

    Comment by ProudMami1990 (original poster) at 11:43 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Talk with a lawyer

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:58 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Talk with a lawyer. The fact still remains that he hasn't visited him in his whole life. That right there should say alot. Why would someone want a child they have never spent any time with, and I'm also pretty sure that your son will have some emotional problems if he did live with him. You're lucky you're getting $150 every other week. I only get $57 for two kids a month.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:32 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • In GA, the law is the mother has "sole custody" if she was not married, no matter where the child was born no matter if the father's name is on the BC. If you go to court about custody and visitation you WILL end up with joint custody and since the child is 3 he will probably have short supervised visits in your town for a few months but, then he will be going to visit his father in Boston. 300/month for CS is pretty uniform so, I wouldn't expect more, it could even go down.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 12:05 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

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