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12 Bumps

So frustrated that I want to pull my hair out !!! What are our options ?

I am with a man who was once married to a disgusting woman .

They have 2 kids and she homeschools them. She is so freaking lazy and she is ruining their future ( if you knew her you would know she is too stupid to teach) .

Her whole reasoning is that she doesnt feel safe sending them to our public school system because it is so large and that when they are older they can chose if they want to go to school or continue homeschooling ( like kids who get to stay home all day are suddenly going to decide to get up every morning to go to school ) . she also thinks that since she has them "involved" in several activites ( like karote and dance, etc ) that it is making up for the social-ness they will get at school .

I have an 11 year old daughter who goes to school and she has never been in any danger at public school, she has alot of friends and is smart. But I guess my boyfriend's ex thinks that, that could never happen to a "public school kid "...

So anyways I finally made my boyfriend realize that he needs to take a part in his childrens future and fight her on this, we went to a lawyer but the lawyer said that since she SHOWS atiquate paperwork and such ( basically proving that they are doing school work ) and since my boyfriend agreed to the homeschooling when they were together and first divorced, and since she has primary custody we really do not have a say so now.. I think that is total BS and we should get another opinion but my boyfriend is weary about spending more money to find out the same info...

What would you do? Would you go for another opinion, would you try and get custody?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (38)
  • First of all you should be prepared to be bashed because you are afterall just a girlfriend ( as in could be here today, gone tomorrow )

    Second... you said she was lazy because she homeschool them ? Sounds like she is doing enough work ( as in the "paperwork", teaching them, and taking them to their several activites) ... that sounds alot less lazy than just putting a kid on a bus and then getting them back off of the bus 8 hours later....

    I think you should back off and leave this mother who is trying to do the best for her children and mind your own buisness !!

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 11:28 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • ^^^I agree^^^

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 11:31 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I hate to say this, but I wouldn't bother fighting for custody - it will cost you a small fortune and you just won't win. You could try to prove that the kids need to be in public school - talk to a different attorney about having his ex prove that the kids are actually at the grade level they are supposed to be - maybe through a standardized test? I know how frustrated you are, my DH's ex is a nightmare. I wish we could have custody of my stepkids, but the courts are definitely on the mother's side. (She was even institutionalized for awhile, we still couldn't get them.)

    Answer by Scuba at 11:31 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Before you start bashing you should learn how to spell (or at least learn how to spell check).


    Answer by blueberry1 at 11:32 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • before I even consider the custody portion I must say you're obviously wrong about her, at least on some levels. she is wonderful to have them in activities. they are meeting friends that way and also getting the extra exercise they normally would in a gym or at recess. they're likely meeting kids in their own neighborhood. since she's taking that step, I'd imagine they're likely in home-school groups too. how much socializing do you think is happening during a school day? it's learning... with 20 minutes of chatter for lunch. then they meet friends (hopefully) and socialize outside of school. karate and dance is streamlining the process. give her a little more credit and also please don't bash homeschooling in that manner because it's apparent you aren't very educated on the process and details. I don't mean that as a put down, it's just something apparent to me as a bystander.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 11:33 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • I don't think it's any of your business if she wants to homeschool her children or not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Maybe there's not enough information here, but to me it doesn't sound like she's doing anything wrong.

    Answer by Namaste17 at 11:36 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • PS: It's karate not karote and it's adequate not however you spelled it.

    There are home-school laws and regulations. It's pretty obvious she is not only following them but exceeding them as well. I cannot believe you'd waste your money on consulting a lawyer.... from the bare minimum I know it sounds to me like she is a terrific mother doing the best she can for her own. I'd back off because you're being judgmental as hell.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 11:37 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Im going to be totally honest with you here. Of all the battles you could be getting into with her, this aint one of them. Since you are not married to this guy, he might get fed up with all of this and move on. Is this worth loosing him over? Why are you so set on changing this so badly? This isnt your call. Even if you where the new wife here I would still say back the hell up and let them deal it out. Its their kids!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • First of all YOU won't get anything, your not a parent. Second, you need to stay out of this, they are not your children and it sounds as if they are doing fine, if she is turning in the paper work. I think she is doing a great thing. I don't blame her for being concerned, I live in a small town but if I didn't, I would really consider homeschooling. You can call her whatever you want but the man you are with loved her enough to marry her and have 2 children with her, he's just dating you.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:44 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

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