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2 Bumps

What would you do ?

so my "little" brother recently announced that his girlfriend is pregnant ( my parents, my husband and I were there ) ... I guess he and his gf got mad that nobody jumped for joy when they announced it ( none of us are pleased because of their history - his gf is very lazy, lies, and they are on and off every other week --- not to mention this isnt the first time she said she was pregnant so they could get back together) ....

So they basically got mad and yelled at my parents and left...

A couple weeks went by and I felt bad ( i was afterall a teen mom and I remember the feeling of no one being happy at first ) , so I went and bought a bassinet ( light grey with white poka dots, since they do not know the gender yet ) and filled it with white, yellow, and light green onsies and sleepers, a pack of bottles, some wipes, and 2 cute little stuffed animals... I tried to make it very cute and "present-y" and this was basically my way of saying I would be happy for them ...

I took it over to their apt. my brother was at work so I gave it to her and say down to ask her how she was feeling and such ( to have a conversation with her ) ... she then asked me if I kept the recipt because she wanted to be the one to buy the bassinet... I said I didnt keep it but that she can still get another, since they have a 2 story apt. they should keep one upstairs and one downstairs ( i told her it was a life saver when I had my kids because we have a big 2 story house ) ... she said "whatever, I can always sell it in a yard sale" ... she then told me that she wished I wouldnt buy her child clothes because it is a waste because she knows she is having girl ( she is 7 weeks and doesnt know the gender yet ) and her "babygirl" will not be wearing green and yellow ..... After that I was just so mad, I took the bassinet with me and told her I will just give it my my friend who would be alot more greatful for a little help .

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Jan. 29, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (26)
  • I'd be horrified. I'd also not form any attachment to the baby whatsoever until I saw #1 a dated ultrasound photo and #2 a DNA test as soon as possible after birth. I'd send her a handwritten letter too, letting her know how hurtful that was. If she wants to be accepted by the family it's not the way to go about it. I'd let her know after that stunt to please not count on your help or attendance at any baby shower
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 11:43 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • – collapse
    It sounds like you have some maturity issues.
    blueberry1

    Answer by blueberry1 at 11:43 PM on Jan. 29, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • OMG! What a bitch!! I'm sorry but that is ridiculous! That was so sweet and generous of you to go out of your way like tha...t and to get that response? Wow! She sounds very immature and selfish!! I would deffinitely tell your brother what happened. Maybe she is lying about being pregnant and thats why she didn't want the things you bought her. Some people just don't deserve the kindness we try to put out there.
    hoping73

    Answer by hoping73 at 11:46 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • .. why do *I* have maturity issues ?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:48 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Thanks hoping73 .... She has lied before about being pregnant -- They have have broken up before and she said she was pregnant TWICE and then as soon as they were "stable" again she would suddenly "lose the baby" ... but yet cant say what happened, and went to the Drs by herself ( on her lunch break ) and "had it taken care of ...

    But this time she was carrying the pregnancy test in her pocket and my brother said he was with her when she took it... and apprently she has already gone to the Drs and confirmed it ... so i really think it is the real thing...

    It just bugs me so much because I really think my brother is a good kid ( he just turned 20 ) ... He works 3 jobs and is also a volunteer EMT ... and was planning on going to college and then they got together and now he just does whatever she says ..

    Not to mention she is 26 years old ( older than me ) ... I would think that she would act older !
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:53 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • That wasnt very nice of her. But on the flip side that was really a sweet gesture on your part. Have a talk with your brother and let him know what happened. Tell him you will support him no matter what and let it rest. Maybe she was still upset about the visit from your parents house and took it out on you.
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 11:57 PM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • Take this from where it comes. 7 weeks??? OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sorry. Lord knows it sounds as if you have you hands full or not? Let this issue go sweetie. She sounds like a candidate for a straight jacket. Time will tell. Let your brother know you care about both of them etc...If you avoid her fine just don't ever admit to it. Keep in touch. Let me know I will be thinking about you. Good grief!!!!!!!!!


    surrenderMichelle

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 12:00 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • You have maturity issues because you started your post by insulting your brother's girlfriend, showed no respect for her desire to take care of her child (and select her child's things), and did not show any confidence in your experience as a mother (i.e she will need the things you purchased). Grown ups don't need to be right and can be nice for the sake of being nice. If your family has not been accepting of this girl that is all the more reason to go out of your way.
    blueberry1

    Answer by blueberry1 at 12:02 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I also wanted to add... when they announced it, it wasnt like my parents or I started yelling at them or anything... I mean I stayed quite and my mom said " It is just hard to be happy when we have been lied to like this before" ... that was literally all that was said, and even though it doesnt sound nice, it is true ..... They both depend on my parents to help pay bills when they cant ( even though he works 3 jobs, they still dont have any money because they constantly buy things and overdraw their bank accounts) , you would just think they would be more respectful !
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:02 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Blueberry - I dont see it as insulting her I simply stated the truth about her. She is very lazy because she doesn't work, and yet does nothing at all, you literally have to make a trail through their apt. because she will not pick up, she doesnt not wake up until atleast 2am ( I know this because they once lived with me not so long ago) , she lies which is obvious because she has lied about the fake pregnancies before ( not to mention she once bragged about how she dated a guy in the CRIBS gang... yes she said CRIBS , and yet she has never been outside of Ohio) , and of course they are on and off every other week ( they havent even been together a full month yet without breaking up ) ..so obviously those were not lies about her.

    Also I was mad because she was being rude when i brought her a gift... instead of just being a decent person and accepting it ( and getting rid of it later) she was point blank rude, I didnt tell
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:09 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

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