Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Self soothing question

Ok so I'm starting to let my son self soothe, he will be 3 months on the 22nd. I let him fuss until he starts to scream. Some nights he will go to sleep on his own, other he has to be held, on the nights he wants to be held I have to hold him forever because even if he is all the way asleep as soon as I put him down he wakes right back up. I let him fuss but I wont let him scream his little head off. I try turning on the mobile or his womb sound bear, sometime both. Is there anything else I can do to help him. I really cant hold him all night and I wont let him sleep with me because its a habit that is really hard to break. He does use a binky but he sometimes spits it out, should I go in and give it back to him every time he fusses or just leave him be. Thanks for looking.

Answer Question
 
stephmiester87

Asked by stephmiester87 at 11:00 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I am an RN.... Doctors say let them scream as long as they are not doing that chocking scream where they sound like they might get hurt.... I never let my son scream at all until he was 4 months. Trying giving him his binki back! if that dont work I put my son near the Tv and the sound put him asleep... which is another bad habit but he had it from when he was in the NICU... when it comes down to it u are going to have to give into some habits or u will never get any sleep... just think which ones are more important to u... every mother is diffrent... u have to pick what works for u and not for us
    Pooky_mommy

    Answer by Pooky_mommy at 11:09 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Who told you that co-sleeping is a hard habit to break?? That all depends on when you expect your child to be "broken" of enjoying your company.
    Let me put it to you this way: full grown adults rarely sleep alone.. Does it make sense to you for your young children, then, to want to sleep alone?

    Anyway- about self soothing.. Every child is different. I would not resort to CIO or anything like that, and you're bound to get plenty of advice. If I were you, I'd just let your child learn as he is ready to.. I see no reason why at 3 months a child should have to put himself to sleep.. As he gets older, he will become more independent. You do not have to force it on him. It happens to each and every person - no one goes into their marriage having to be rocked to sleep.
    Liyoness

    Answer by Liyoness at 11:11 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Your going to get alot of people saying to let him cry it out but 3 months is to young and even at 6 months is to young. Try the EASY routine its eat activy sleep you time. Have him eat after a bath either its a snack from your breast or bottle just to fill him back up and let him play for about 20 min to an hour and rock him to sleep or lay him down to sleep. Works likes a charm for me and always has. This will pass trust me EVERYONE goes through it
    motherofzander

    Answer by motherofzander at 11:11 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I think the style and methods you use for your is not only dependant on the individual baby, but also what you are comfortable with. As for me and my husband, we let our son work it out at about 3-4 months of age (he is 7+m now). At first it was TOUGH! It took EVERYTHING we had to not go in and hold him and rock him to sleep. In any event.. check out Ferberizing. I am sure if you Google it you will get the method. (continued)
    madlyinlove412

    Answer by madlyinlove412 at 11:48 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • (from above) Ferberizing worked for us. Basically you let your baby work it out, but check on him and pat his little back or just let him know you are there without picking him up. Gradually you lengthen the intervals in which you check on him as well as the length of stay you share with him until you no longer have to check on him as he falls asleep with little to no fuss. Out son still has his moments with fighting sleep, but this method worked for us and still works when he has a relapse of not wanting to sleep.... good luck and know that "this too shall pass". Hang in there!
    madlyinlove412

    Answer by madlyinlove412 at 11:49 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Co-sleeping CAN be a hard to break habit...my sister is currently sharing a bed with her husband, her four year old, her three year old, her one year old, and is due in a month with her fourth, so you're wise to think ahead! Most people will (or should, anyway) spend about 20 years of their lives sleeping alone, that's a good chunk!

    Do you have a bassinet or a pack 'n play that can go in your room? It may be easiest to transition baby to laying near you in his own bed then eventually go to his crib. Sometimes my little guy fusses himself to sleep, but it's not actual crying, and it's not for very long.

    Also, do you have a routine? If not, get one! Playtime, bathtime, a snack then bed, or whatever works for your family! Sing songs, read books, rock...work with it for awhile and see if he can get used to it. Good luck!
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 1:22 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I never let my daughter CIO or self soothe. She figured out self soothing naturally. You don't have to make bed time traumatic to teach this.

    I read a really great book called the 90 Minute Sleep Solution by Dr. Polly Moore. It made all difference. It taught us how to watch for our babies natural schedule and put her to bed when she shows tired signs. She is 16 months and we have never let her CIO. DH just takes her into bed, lays by her, while she calms down. If she fusses, he scratches her back or rubs her legs. The whole thing is usually 15 mins, if we get her at the right time. If we wait and she becomes overly tired, she will cry and cry! Before, I had picked 9pm as a bedtime for her. What I learned was it was way too late! We used to have awful nights because of this.

    Message me if you have questions.
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 3:18 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • i swaddle my 3 month old, and let her cio, some nights she would do the same thing. she would sleep til i put her down and then she would fuss. as long as she is feed, burped, and dry, i would lay her down and let her self soothe. i dont let her scream, as if someone is killing her, but i will let her fuss. i made a big mistake when my 15 month old was younger with the holding til she fell asleep and paid for it. the cio was the only cure for her also, i just had done it much later and wish i would have learned the proper way to do it sooner.
    lilredsfrm67

    Answer by lilredsfrm67 at 7:56 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.