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Aspie kids question

Do you find it hard to treat your Aspie their age when they act so much younger?

Mine is 12 but acts about 8 or 9 and its very easy to keep talking to him as an 8yo since thats where his mentality is. His maturity is much slower in developing than his peers of the same age.

I was talking to a 12yo girl the other day and she seemed SO mature, but I guess that because I'm used to what I have at home.


Asked by Zoeyis at 8:52 AM on Jan. 30, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • OMG... I thought it was just MY daughter... she has Aspergers and she's 11 years old and she acts like a 5/6 year old... (except during tantrums and in that case... 2/3 maybe)... and it's sooo frustrating because I see other kids her age and how they act and I want her to act her age but I'm not even sure if she's capable of doing so.

    Answer by Randomosity2 at 12:28 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I understand what you mean. My son is 11, but doesn't really act 11. I don't think it helps that his dad treats him like a 4 year old.

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:16 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • my child just three and ahalf
    had 2nd autism doc do eval friday
    i asked her age level
    he said 22/23 months
    (maybe i should not have asked)
    very hard to hear that, i have added up to 24 months makeing her like a 2 yr old and she is three and a half
    rarely around other children her age, so i thought maybe she was doing better than that

    can not even think teen years, too far ahead, long road ahead, have to look just a bit ahead, lots of things to trip over if not looking at present steps.... years down the line- how will things be for her - way too hard to think about

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:30 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • My 7yr old stepson functions on the level of a 3-4yr old due to brain damage caused by his mother. Why would I treat him like a 7yr old when he mentally isnt 7? That would be like treating a 6month old like a 3yr old...pointless. Physical age means nothing, you have to treat him as the mental age he is. Anything else would be unfair

    Answer by shivasgirl at 9:40 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • fiatpax
    just take it one day at a time. and make sure you celebrate the little sucesses and enjoy them.
    My son cracks me up on a daily basis. Those that know him help me celebrate those moments. Those that do not, look at me like I'm nuts. They can look all the want.

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:41 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • shivasgirl
    To a point you are correct, but with children on the autism spectrum, it can be a little different. These children are not brain damaged. Most of these children can, to some degree, participate with children at their chronological age. Most of these children are capable of learning at chronological. My son is developmentally behind his peers by a few years, but I try to hold him to an standard more typical of his peers because that is how my son learns. If I let him stay where he is comfortable, he will stay there. I won't allow that to happen to him. My son is still progressing and maturing, but he is about two years behind his peers. At age 11, that can be a big difference when it comes to interest, in a few years, it might not matter.

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:48 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Aidens 2 but he is like a 1 or 1 1/2 yr old. it hurts sometimes when my other freinds with kids A's age are potty training and we are still in diaper and no where near P time cause he cant tell me when hes wet. . . or when i see other kids his age and the way they act and realize mine acts nouthing like this. . my husbands the one that gets on me about treating him deifferently. since i know he doesnt understand thing would he understand what exactly hes getting in trouble for? or when i tell him to clean up and he just turns and watches t.v. its very frsurating. do you belong to an aspie group? they got some good ones on here that really help! *altho im sure u already belong to one*

    Answer by sandraberke at 10:00 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I don't even realize we're doing it until the rare times I meet another kid his age and realize how far behind he is.

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 9:17 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • @Fiatpax.... keeping in mind the Autism Spectrum effects every single person different, you can't be sure what its going to be like. It may not turn out to be that bad for ya. She may just talk alot and not pay attn to social cues. If thats as bad as it gets, you got off good :)

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 9:44 AM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I have 3 children and my younest has Asperger's. In some ways he is more mature then kids his own age(he is 13) and in other ways hhis maturity level is lower. I think all kids act younger than they are at times. My 17 yr. old daughter sometimes acts like a 5 yr. old brat! LOL... Much of the time she is much more mature than her peers. Most of her friends are 21 or older, she doesn't relate as well to kids her own age. Of course, she is gifted which comes with it's own set of unique issues. My 15 yr. old son actually seems to have become less mature then he was at a younger age. Funny how being a teenager seems to do that. I just enjoy all my kids for who they are. After all age is just a number.

    Answer by sarchasmicangel at 3:09 PM on Jan. 30, 2011