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Did I overreact

I have been on 3 dates with this guy. Things are going well and he seems really nice. I have trust issues bc of my last relationship and second guess everything. I try not to but it's hard bc I was so blind last time, I dont want to be this time. Yesterday we went on a date. Things went well and I could tell he wanted to kiss me when he left but I'm trying to take things slow and just gave him a hug. I text him after he left "thanks for coming" and never heard back from him, text him later same thing. I text him this afternoon, just saying hi, same thing. Text him again and said "hey, did I do or say something yesterday b/c I have been texting you but have gotten no response which isnt like you. I don't want to bug you and not be able to take a hint. Are you ok?"


Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • As much as I love to text and email, that's what's kinda wrong with things... you don't know unless you have delivery confirmation that they read it (my cell phone will show me if they read it) but when all else fails, pick up the phone and say "hey" not "why haven't you called/text/emailed".
    I'm assuming that he's a great guy if he's dating a lady with a little baby, I know not are but with him coming back for more dates etc with nothing intimate, then he's got more on his mind than sex I think :) Instead of hugging tho (that's what friends do) maybe you could give him a kiss on the cheek and maybe even ask if he feels like it's headed anywhere, and that you want to take it really slow and see if he's up for that. Honesty right up front works wonders I think and eliminates a lot of misunderstandings :)

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:04 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • Continued.....He sent me an email and said, "let me know if you get this, I have been texting you back but you must not be getting them for some reason. My phone must be messed up." Then I started thinking, did I overreact or was it justified? Now I'm thinking, is it really his phone or is he living with someone like the last guy I dated? lol What do you think?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I think that you will know when there is magic because everything flows so easily somehow - the chemistry is there and the guards are down. You've already texted him too much IMO so, just let it go. He will call if he is interested. If he was only looking for a one-night stand then he might be disappointed right now.

    Answer by Avon_Calling at 11:20 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I think you are overreacting! Slow down. Don't over think this. His claim about his phone sounds legit. Don't make a big deal about the multiple texts you sent him, don't freak him out. I understand you've got your guard way up. You've got to try to chill out. Try not to worry until you have more of a reason to. You are your own worst enemy right now. But you are doing the right thing by taking things slow. If he likes you, he won't go anywhere.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:22 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • My phone has done that and a few days later I get like 30 msg's and it has a date from a few days ago on it.... so it's possible. Sometimes it's the network, sometimes it's the phone. I suggest taking your battery and sim card out daily and cleaning them (att recommends it too).
    Good luck but most men aren't going to wait 3 whole dates with not even a kiss. Doesn't mean you have to have sex, doesn't even have to be intimate kiss.... but maybe he thought you weren't really interested in him?

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:24 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Ok so - I missed the 2nd part. You'll find out soon enough if you guys keep going out - don't jump into conclusions too soon. I'm sure he'll invite you over to his place and if he doesn't, then you need to ask.

    Answer by Avon_Calling at 11:25 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I agree, take it easy. Don't text him any more. If he is interested he'll make the next move. Good luck! I hope you find the right guy that makes you really happy.

    Answer by Bmat at 11:25 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I read this book called he's not that into you. PIck it up. It's filled with all kinds of guy advice.
    If he was all that into you he would have called you this book says in a day not two or three. this is advice straight from a guys mouth who also has a talk show geesh I wish I could remember his name. greg barret is the guys name he has a tv talk show but I can't spell worth crap. lol


    Answer by amanda_23 at 11:27 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • lol thanks ladies. I don't want to scare him off b/c he seems really nice. I know not a lot of guys would wait 3 dates to not even get a kiss. And not be scared off by my 4 month old. We hugged for the first time yesterday. There's a definite connection there. I should be happy that he emailed me to let me know what was going on. I overthink everything!!! I will try to not jump to conclusions. If I don't call or text him for a day then he'll text me or call at like 11 at night saying "i haven't heard from you..." so at least he kinda looks forward to it I guess.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Wait for him to make the next move. Maybe three dates is a lot for not even a kiss, but should you do something you're not comfortable with? No. If he's a really good guy, he'll understand this, or at least try to talk to you about it. Good luck!

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 1:29 AM on Nov. 15, 2008