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How can i help with my daughters separation anxiety?

My daughter is only 4 months old and already every time someone other than my fiancee or I holds her she balls her eyes out and wont stop until one of us holds her again. Whenever a family member holds her she cries. She has been around them alot and i have read most everything i can find on separation anxiety and i still can't get her to stop. We went to my fiancee's mothers house she cried and cried for hours even with us there. None of the articles on this subject has helped please please if anyone can help me i'd be most greatful.

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Asked by Luna_Bell at 12:13 PM on Jan. 30, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I got this from the babycenter website. My son was always social, but when he was tired he would really get stranger anxiety. My son was actually scared of old men with beards, so we had to really work on that. He HATED Santa Claus.

    Tell them that when they approach the baby, slow gentle movements will produce less anxiety than sudden ones. If your child refuses to be held by a friend or relative, try a slow desensitization process. First, work on having her be comfortable in your arms while the other person is around. Then, have the person talk and play with your child while you hold her. Then, hand him over to the other person for a short time and stay close. Finally, try to leave the room for a few minutes, and see how it goes. If your child bawls, try again. Go in and out of the room and eventually, your child will be secure in the knowledge that even though you're not around at the moment, you'll always return shortl

    Answer by mommy_jules at 12:49 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Hopefully that helps, if you haven't tried it already.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 12:50 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Thank you i'll try that!

    Comment by Luna_Bell (original poster) at 12:53 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • They can look at her, but they can't hold her. That's the way to fix this. It likely isn't separation anxiety, it's stranger anxiety. Sure, they're not strangers to you and you feel like she's been around them alot, but to her they are not the people she wants to be held by.

    She WILL outgrow this. My first son was this exact way and it took him about a year to get really comfortable with his grandparents (who we saw 2-3 times a week). Then another year or so to get comfortable with his aunts and uncle.

    He was just shy. He still is. When meeting new people he likes to take his time before approaching them and can you imagine being like that and just being handed around to a bunch of new people? You'd scream too!

    Just hold her, visit family, they can talk to her while you're holding her and she'll get comfortable with time. Do you have a sling or a wrap? That can help keep your arms from getting tired! :)

    Answer by LeanneC at 1:10 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • How wonderful that your baby is so well bonded to her parents.

    She will let you know when she is ready to be held by someone else; there is not need to force her to do this.

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:58 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • My Daughter is almost 2 years and she wont let any one but me and her daddy hold her. I'm having the same problem i hope it gets better.

    Answer by NavyMommy0910 at 4:08 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Thank you everyone

    Comment by Luna_Bell (original poster) at 5:18 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • mommy_jules that was great advice!!!!

    Answer by Suzi at 11:40 PM on May. 7, 2011

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