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How do I get my three-year-old daughter to not be jealous of my boyfriend?

I am having a lot of behavior problems with my daughter. She hits, sticks her tongue out, and talks back to me and her grandparents all of the time. She is especially rude to my boyfriend. I work full-time, and it is hard to try to raise her when I am only with her for a short time in the day. Help!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (4)
  • Well here is the thing. She is 3, she is not being rude. She is just fighting for your attention. 3 year olds know that mommy is theirs. Not to be shared. It is a giving, patient, process. If you are showing your boyfriend more attention to her, then yes... she might be right in what she is doing. Your responsibility is to raise your daughter. Your responsibility is to take care of that child, make sure that her needs are met and she is raised into a responsible citizen...she should not have to be jealous of your boyfriend. You need to bond with her.. not the guy. You are going to have problems in this type of situation, but you need to remember she comes first!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I am an RN.... That is a hard question cause some things work for some but not others but here are some ideas.... If u trust ur boy friend enough to have ur daughter alone with him have him take her out a do something with her that she really wants to do.... even if just to a store to buy a toy... it sees bad and like ur trying to brib them but ur daughter might need to see that he is there for her too and when he takes her out and gets he something tell her if she is a good girl she might get something again in a few weeks! Try to have them spend some time together playing with things she lie or watchin cartons together.... u would be surprised on what a little time together will do for them if u nneed any more help just message me

    Answer by Pooky_mommy at 12:07 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I would try to spend as much time with her as you possibly can, having fun together without the interference of anyone else, particularly your boyfriend. If she feels satisfied that she is getting enough of your attention she will become less and less jealous. Then I think your boyfriend can also work on winning her over by paying attention to her as well in small, appropriate ways. Kids do need to feel important and liked. They usually respond to that. I agree she needs to KNOW she comes first even though you work and have a boyfriend. It can be done, just by focusing on her even if your actual time is limited. Good luck!

    Answer by BJoan at 1:18 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • She is 3. I think 3 is worse than 2 so good luck.

    As for being jealous of your boyfriend....personally he would be out of her picture and never take anytime away from her that would normally be time for her. You want to see him, make it at times she would not be available to spend time with you anyway. Make your dates when she is with her father or after she has gone to sleep. A 3 year old should never feel like she is in need of competing with an adult for her own mothers attention.

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 1:43 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

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