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...she is trying to make it into something it isnt....

My brother is married to a woman who after 7 years realized she was a lesbian. That is fine, the problem is that she DID cheat on my brother ( she has been with this woman for the last year but has also slept with 2 other men in the last year) , not only that but when she left to go live with her girlfriend and her girlfriends kids, she left my 7 year old nephew. She sees him MAYBE once a week..... I think she is horrible -- NOT because she is gay but because she cheated and basically abandoned her child...

So now since she left I have my nephew most of the time ( my brother works alot at weird hours ) .. love my nephew and I love spending time with him, but it makes me mad because I am doing his mothers job....

I would be just as angry if she left for a man, but she is making it sound like the only reason we are upset over this is because she is gay... we have no problems with her being gay ( or anyone that is gay ) ... She is trying to use it as a default to make up for what she has done but then still uses it as an excuse too ... ( basically she is saying * this is what I am, but you cant say this is what I am) ... We live in a small area and making everyone think that we are keeping her child from her because she is gay ... ( when actually I will call her to come spend time with him and she will say she is coming, but then not show up).

I know this is rambling, but I am just so angry... what would you do or say ? My brother is just acting like he is going through the motions of the day and he is upset but says he doesnt know what else to do either ( she also left him to pay a HUGE mortage and utilities for a house that she wanted by himself, so he now also has to get another job )

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Jan. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I would tell her to her face that the reason you are pissed has nothing to do with her being a lesbian, it's because she's being a shitty, irresponsible mother by not taking care of her own child.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:33 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • i think your brother needs to file for divorce, get custody of his son and get their assets (and bills) split down the middle....and while in court child support and visitations can be set up for the mother and if she doesnt see her son that on her no one else....(as for the house during the divorce processing sale it).....good luck to your brother and bless you for being there for a confussed little boy....

    Answer by cara124 at 1:34 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • It's great to have empathy and help out where you can. But it is wise not to get too involved in this situation. They need to handle it. Getting angry does only that, being angry. It's not productive. You are more than entitled to your opinion on the situation, but unless your brother handles the situation himself, nothing will change.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:35 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • She just did this 2 weeks before Christmas ... but my brother said he is going to go to court over it, and he wants to figure out how to get out of the house and get him and my nephew one of the cheap ( but very nice) apartments in town....


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:39 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • YOu just need to document everything down and not worry what she says or what others think. My ex was the same way and I left him. People he knows still tell me I kept his kids from him when the fact was he just never did show when he had visits and then I had sole. Anyway, I know its hard not to be angry but also remember you have to try and not let any of that anger overflow onto her son whose already going through alot.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:51 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I do agree, that if it's about the childs well being and safety that needs to be documented.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:53 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Some people are not cut out to be a mom. Of course that has nothing to do with the lesbian thing. It's possible she's just a selfish person but her son is so lucky to have an aunt like you to care for him. He'll remember YOU and your kindness as he grows up. He'll hate her for abandoning him. It's all about him now. Hopefully your brother can sell the house and find a cheaper place to live so he can spend more time with the child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Honestly this sounds like you are in a way a bit jealous of her story her life and the way her freedom is. Just live with the fun part of having in on bringing the child some happiness. Leave all the drama in the ditch, and let all who are happy be and remain happy, she will come around when she is less aggravated, and less picked on and it's probably nothing to do with her lifestyle at all. drama

    Answer by coffeeyum at 2:22 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • OMG! It sounds like my son's ex-wife! It only took her 1 year to decide she was bi-sexual and just wanted to be free to 'experimental'. Now I have a 3 yo granddaughter who is just precious and an ex-DIL who is the spawn of the devil himself.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 3:03 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • How is she gay if she cheated with 2 men. She sounds like an idiot.

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 3:56 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

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