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What would you do ?

I once dated a guy for 4 years... we had a messy breakup because he cheated on me.... We both moved on and now it is 2 years later. I am now married to a wonderful man and we are expecting our first baby ( daughter ), I am due in 5 weeks ( but DR thinks she will be coming in the next 2 or 3 ) . My husband and I have a name picked out that we both love.

I was on Facebook the other day and seen my exs profile pop up on the side ( we have mutal friends on there ) ... so of course curiosity got the best of me and I looked... I seen he and the girl he cheated on me with just had a baby 2 weeks ago and have the same exact name we were going to name our little girl ( it isnt that of a common name either ) ...

Now I dont know what to do... part of me of course still wants to name our baby what we have planned on calling her for the last few months, but then I think that I will always just think of him and his baby when I think of that name ( which i am thinking now ) ... Also we do live in a small town and i think it would just be weird and basically our common friends might think we "copied" them . Plus the fact that since we do have common friends, I think it would also be weird for them to have 2 sets of friends with the same named kids and our little girls will most likely be going to the same small school here and would be in the same grade ( if not class ) ... the reason we chose a not so common name was so she wouldnt have other kids in her class with the same name .

My husband said we can change the name but it took us a long time to come up with that name ... I am just confused ..would you keep it, or change it ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Jan. 30, 2011 in Baby Names

Answers (16)
  • I think I would change it, even though I had trouble finding the name in the first place.

    Answer by SWasson at 1:59 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • honestly, if it were me, id change it. I know it took a long time to come up with that name but perhaps make it the middle name, something that you wont use as much? It took my husband and i a long long time and many changes to get my sons name, but it was worth it. You want your baby to remind you of you and your husband, a precious gift that was given to you that you both created. Why spoil that with the rememberances of something bad? I loved a certain name for my son, but in the end we didnt choose it because it reminded us of someone who didnt want to be remembered. I thought id never find a name as perfect, but i did and come to find out, my son fits his name perfectly. No worries, keep trying and who knows you might find something better than you didnt think of before. good luck!

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 2:02 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I'd change it for sure

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 2:05 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • If it is the first name only. Just move it to the middle name. Or flip the first and middle name around.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:11 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • i would change it!

    Answer by sandjmom99 at 2:25 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Change it.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 2:56 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I'd change it.

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 3:36 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I would change it,

    Answer by zackarysmommy at 6:54 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I think that if it is bugging you this much and you are doubting yourself about that name, then just sit down with your husband and pick out a different name that you both love. That way you won't have to regret naming her that name (if you did decide to name her that) in the future and whatnot. I would personally change it if I was in your situation.

    Answer by poptart0325 at 7:09 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • As a small town member myself, i would think about the future possibilities of feeling negative about any remarks by other townsfolk or common friends. It would probably require some inner strength to answer the curiosity seekers and question askers about having a baby with the exact name as your ex. So the question to me would be, is this a factor that would bother me later on and cause me to regret my baby's name or any comparison to my ex.....not a common stranger but my ex..and in a small town. Whoever has the child first gets to naturally name their baby first. How much do you feel you will have to endure in the negative zone and could you avoid the entire "possible" situation with another name that would completely remove any comparison by you or any one else?

    Answer by kbutts at 7:28 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

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