Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

My Grandson

My grandson is 10 years old, he lives with me and his mom. I had custody of him until this year when I gave it me to her. He has lived with me since a week after he was born. She moved in with us when he was two and we have been living happily together for the past 8 years. Recently he found out some of the details of how his mother gave him to me and he's very resenful toward her. He says he wants to live with me because I'm the only one who has been there for him. While true in a way, my daughter loves him and is a good mother. Any advice on how to comfort his heart without stepping on my daughter?

Answer Question

Asked by MelissaCarole at 8:08 PM on Jan. 30, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 11 (530 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Tell him all of the positives about his mom. Let him know that she needed time to be a great parent to him. He needs to be told not to judge her but to praise her for doing what ws right at the time.
    How much does he remember b/n 2 and 10? Why would he ? this? Doyou feel this is a normal ? for his age or does she not fully show the affection that you do? Keep all poss into consideration. Answer to the best you know how. GL!!

    This is a great age to show kids that sometimes you need to step back and figure things out. This is a positive lesson for him

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:15 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • He overheard his uncles talking about some of the specifics. He knew about things in general but he didn't know most of the details.

    Comment by MelissaCarole (original poster) at 8:16 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Sometimes being a responsible, loving parent, means asking for a trusted person to help you raise them while you work thru your issues, in order to become the kind of mom he deserves. Even w/out knowing details, (it's family business- & should stay that way) I can see she did that. No one is perfect & if he cant forgive her, then maybe some family counseling would help. GL :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:25 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Thanks, I'm going to tell lhim that. His mom does love him and thought it would be best for him to be with me since I am her mother she knows how I am and wanted her son with me.

    Comment by MelissaCarole (original poster) at 8:27 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Here's what I'd say: We all make mistakes and we should all get second chances. Your mom proved she was worthy of being your mom by straightening her life out being there for you. Would you want to lose the most precious possession you have in your life and never be able to get a second chance at getting it back? Forgiveness is not for her, it is for you. If you don't forgive her, you are only hurting yourself by robbing yourself of what could be the best relationship with your mom.

    Answer by derosia_mama at 11:55 AM on Feb. 1, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Tweens (9-12)
My Grandson