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Should I just go ahead and make a big deal out of this?

DD is 7 she goes for supervised visits to my ex every other weekend. Besides many other problems we are having, his mom has dd sleep with her. So every Sunday when she comes back she will not go to sleep. Begs to sleep with me and dh. Which I am sure ex-mil would have a sh*t fit about. I spoke with her about this before this visit because divorce paper says dd is supposed to have her own bed. But right now ex is living in a hotel and they have no choice. (Not that it was any different when they lived in a house)

Answer Question
 
treynlisa

Asked by treynlisa at 9:30 PM on Jan. 30, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,618 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • It violates the visitation order, so yes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • she definitely needs her own bed to sleep in.
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 9:32 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I would make a big deal about it anyway. Who wants their child sleeping in a bed with another woman? I think not.
    sweetiepie8540

    Answer by sweetiepie8540 at 9:33 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • Been trying my best to keep the peace with these people but it gets harder all the time.
    treynlisa

    Comment by treynlisa (original poster) at 9:33 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • It isn't so much about keeping the peace..it is about following the court order. you can bet if YOU colored outside the lines they'd be screaming about it. I would absolutely adress it.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:39 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I spoke with her about this before this visit because divorce paper says dd is supposed to have her own bed. <<--- this says it all... if the courts say she needs her own bed.... then she needs her own bed!!! After all.... It's not your rule... it's the Judge (wink)!! Rules are rules, court orders are court orders.,.. there for a reason!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 9:39 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • at some point, keeping the peace has to go out the window! having their own bed is a very basic thing. good luck! and ya, make a big deal out of it!

    just curious, do your ex DH and ex MIL both stay in the hotel? or is your DD staying at your ex MIL on ex DH's weekend? i am thinking imisread! :)
    itzmyzoo

    Answer by itzmyzoo at 9:41 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • It violates court orders, so he is in 'breech of contract'. Yes, make a big deal about it. Especially since it causes your daughter to want to sleep with you and your husband when she should be in her own bed.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:42 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • It is against the law for foster and/or adoptive children to NOT sleep in their own bed -- The other woman would be basically the same thing -- plus you have it in the papers. I would insinuate that you dont "want" to take them to court over this, but feel as though you have no other choice if they don't abide by this rule.
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:43 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

  • I agree with the pp's. The court says she has to have her own bed. The child won't go to sleep in her bed when she comes home because of it. The grandmother either doesn't know what the court said, and needs to be made aware of it, or she is aware of it, and is ignoring it. Either way, it needs to be brought to her attention that 1) you know about it, and 2) it needs to stop.

    You don't have to be nasty about it - you could simply say, "I know __ sleeps with you when she's at your house, and I'm sure that you don't mean anything by it, but it causes problems in her sleep habits when she comes home which could affect her school work. Plus, the courts have said that she has to have her own bed when she visits, and so if they find out about it it could make problems for all of us and probably mess up your visitation stuff, so I just wanted to let you know, so that you can put her in her own bed from now on..."

    gl!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:44 PM on Jan. 30, 2011

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