My childrens father and I have been together for almost 4 years. Last year he was barely in their life at all due to his alcohol and substance abuse and he was abusive.
Recently in the past 6 months we've made some headway, however our oldest daughter whom is 2 started out with a croupy cough yesterday and by nightfall, she was conested and had fever. I have always been the one who has taken care of our daughter. I have been to the er on several occasions for colds and know how to take care of a fever. I also did some nose drops last night and vicks rub. He wanted me to take her to the hospital, but her fever was at 100.7 it has not reached 102 or above. Our son is also slightly ill and he's 10 months. I was up with her in the night last night and she would wake up cause she couldn't breath out of her nose, which he sais she was weezing..and she was not.
so today, she was resiliant most of the day. I monitored her and our son both. I gave them tylenol and switched off with motrin and so on.
Tonight, he was ordering me around telling me what to do, telling me to do what i was already doing. He is 12 years older than I and thinks that he knows so much more than I do and he was treating me that way.
I told him that he was treating me like shit and he had the audacity to tell me that I'm not doing my motherly duties and should have taken our daughter to the hospital last night.
He didn't get up with her last night. He hasn't been much of a dad to any of his kids. He has a 16 year old that he hasn't taken care of in his own custody since she was 6.
We were at my parents house and he decided to take her to the hospital. I was trying not to cause a scene. He was making me feel horrible. That's the old him..controlling and verbally abusive. He was treating me like I was stupid and ordering me around and it's so humiliating and it made me feel soo horrible. I'm in tears because I'm so angry, how dare he say that I'm not doing my motherly duties
and furthermore, when he was leaving he was telling me "YOu take care of MY son" I was like I am. He was like you better check his temperture every hour. My son has not had a temp that's even reached 101. He doesn't seem to be nearly as sick as his sister, I just feel trapped with their dad. I thought maybe we could all be a family again, but he hasn't changed. He might not be doing drugs, but he still drinks here and there and he's still controlling at times. I feel trapped though because he's not the type to just go away. He is the type that would probably stalk us.
I wish he would just disapear out of our lives for good, but how? I dont want him to raise our kids, I dont want to do joint custody. I just feel so trapped. I dont know what to do. A part of me loves him, but when I kiss him..I dont feel passion. I feel resentment towards him for all the hurt he's caused in the past and I just want as far away from him as me and the kids can get. I know he'd fight for custody as well. I have no criminal record, but I dont make a lot of money. He has a laundry list of convictions and is an ex felon. Do you think the courts would even consider doing joint custody with him? Then i feel like he'd stalk us, like if i dropped the kids off at their grandparents. Restraining orders do no good...I'm so upset right now.Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Jan. 30, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Jan. 30, 2011
Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:19 PM on Jan. 30, 2011
Answer by babyboyzz at 11:20 PM on Jan. 30, 2011
Answer by spottedpony at 11:21 PM on Jan. 30, 2011
Answer by spottedpony at 11:26 PM on Jan. 30, 2011
There are some awesome domestic violence groups here in cm, I really think you should consider joining one. There are ladies in these groups that have gone through what you are going through and got out or others who are still in and finding the support and encouragment to leave. Hugs to you hon
Answer by beyondhopes at 11:32 PM on Jan. 30, 2011
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