my husband begins anger management and ptsd treatment on february 24th. but in the meantime i feel like im going crazy trying to keep the peace at home! its a daily thing of walking on eggshells, keeping the kids quiet (cause his anger seems to stem most from our 3 young daughters), being submissive to him so he won't fly off the handle. seriously, it's a job in itself.
yesterday, he called our 2 year old daughter a "fucking bitch" because she fell out of a chair and walked away without picking it up (it was one of those little toddler chairs) i thought to myself "REALLY?" what kind of father does that to his own child let alone a 2 year old child! then at dinner, he antagonized her for not eating but she's terrified of him and so is our 1 year old baby. i honestly don't know when things got this bad, it started off slowly and now has seemed to spiral out of control. everytime he lashes out at one of them, i tell him he needs to go stay with his mom til he gets better, then he apologizes and swears he'll do better with the kids. and a day or two later we're back to square one. i'm just not strong enough to actually enforce it, but i know i should be because this environment is not healthy for our little ones.
i never wanted to be married and divorced after only 2 years of marriage and at 24 years old. but at this point im at my wit's end, i have nothing else to give and i can't keep living like this. i can't keep allowing my daughters to be tormented by him, even though i know deep down he can't control his feelings. i wish he would take my advice and just go into another room when he gets angry. instead he lashes out! at the same time, i'm stuck here because i've been a sahm for over 2 years and there's no way i can find a decent job to support 3 children under 5 years old. i would have to go back to my mom's house and what a disappointment that would be for my parents. they do know the situation though. they're really the only ones i can talk to about it. his mom knows too but she is on his side even though her husband (my husband's dad) was the same way and she left him.
it starts in the morning, when i have to get my 4 year old ready for school but also serve breakfast for 3 hungry children, change the little one's diapers, pack lunch for my oldest, help her get ready, and of course i'm only one person so somebody gets agitated that i haven't "gotten to them" yet and starts crying. he yells from the bedroom "shut up!" instead of actually getting off his ass to help me. i already get up an hour early and try every morning to be efficient enough so everyone's happy but like i said im only one person.
he has never hit any of them. but what he is doing is surely emotional abuse. i keep telling myself when he begins treatment things will get better. it has to.. they're professionals and they know how to dig deep. but this daily torment in the meantime.. is making me lose it. i want to take my children and leave, i just dont know how.
Answer by spiritguide_23 at 8:51 AM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by sweetiepie8540 at 9:03 AM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by keisha613 at 8:43 AM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by dmdemes at 8:46 AM on Jan. 31, 2011
In any case it gets worse before it gets better and you need to realize they are children and living like that is hard I actually got hit and they now know the feeling of walking egg shells. Have you considered also getting therapy for them and have you considered having him move out while the therapy takes place so you and your girls can have time to heal as well you need it to? GL Momma
Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:48 AM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by tiamesmer at 8:56 AM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by balagan_imma at 8:57 AM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by dmdemes at 9:05 AM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by vicesix at 9:15 AM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by bcauseimthemom at 9:19 AM on Jan. 31, 2011