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why dont they feel the same way about my baby than they do about my brothers?

Im so sad bc my family treat my 6 month old diffrent than my brothers 1 year old.... my sisters and parents go over my brothers house to see him often... since my sons been born they come to see him 8 times!!....(but because i noticed they dont come I have gone over on weekday and weekends to see my fam with my baby).. my bros baby gets incredible toys and clothing for gifts... i noticed they give my baby gifts in broken boxes and cheap looking toys..dollar bill type?! ... when ever I do come over they dont hold my baby as much and in the same fun/loving way they do when they hold my bro baby.... I know they pay more attention to detail when my bro baby around bc the other day my mother wet my babys face and didnt put cream on his face when i told her the care for his skin type...(my baby has EXZEMA a real bad case where his entire face and body is covered in red blothches and oozing skin (witch ive been treating)
Ive been so sad that they dont come and see him or hold him in the same manner (mabie bc his exzema?) but i still cry for my son bc i dont see the same love that they have for my bro baby in my son...I stopped coming over for 1 month now and they dont call or come.... i made a coment to them about all this to them....THEY DECIDED TO COME OVER AND TAKE MY BABY FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS..JUST THE BABY...I Politely told them he doesnt really know u guys to be without his mom...he started crying when they insistently took him from my arms...I told them do you know how he sleeps? how to care for the exzema how much he eats, what makes him laugh?... they didnt...they got upset and ackwardly quiet and left and said" well dont say we didnt try to help you" and walked out... I came the next 2 days in an effort so they get to know my son, but in those two days they didnt hold my son or even play with him or talk to him...nothing! On the second day I went home crying for my son bc I really feel that they just dont care about my baby.
I dont know how to feel about this... I had a csection and my family didnt even offer to help me...it was rough!... they came once! to see me then...I dont understand?! what should I do? how should I feel? (I talked to them about this but nothing happens...they stay ackwardly quiet about it and pretend nothing is wrong?

Answer Question
 
bb0

Asked by bb0 at 8:39 AM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I know how you must feel. It's hard when people are not as receptive to the beautiful miracle you just made. Hang in there though. And be thankful for the times and efforts they have made. Some grandparents are more verbal about it. Actually come out and say they favor 1 grandchild over another. Also, your LO is only 6 months, still small, whereas the 1 year old is prob walking and more active. Perhaps it'll change when your son is older as well.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 8:48 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • hang in there mama, i agree maybe its bc the 1 year old demands more attention,then your baby bc hes only a baby. NOT that that is an excuse at all but just throwing some ideas out there. I hope things get better for you, hang in there
    dmdemes

    Answer by dmdemes at 8:51 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Maybe the problem is something with you? Not being mean but I have noticed sometimes parents are mad at their kids and it ends up rolling over onto grandkids. It isnt fair or right, but for some reason it does happen. You want them around and to love and treat your baby the same, but then when they came over you didnt want it? I think maybe its a mixed message to them as well. You need to call some sort of a family meeting between you and your parents without the baby around and explain how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Give them something to think about. Then maybe they can see it from your point of view.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:52 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • My dad treats my kids differently than my brothers kids and I had never even noticed until my mom brought it up! My kids are all adopted I am not able to have any biological children and my brothers kids are bio kids. He lets my nieces do whatever they want, jump on the furniture, color anywhere and on anything, my kids are expected to be seen and not heard, they are not allowed to even sit on the new furniture, they can only color at the table (which is fine with me that is the rule at home) and no I don't let my kids jump on the furniture at home so they won't do it other places either. He is very hard on every little thing my kids do, my oldest DD has told me that unless grandma is home she doesn't want to go there. It makes me sad for my kids, I had such an awesome relationship with my grandparents and always wanted the same for my kids. I don't have any answers for you but know that you aren't alone.
    niehoff9

    Answer by niehoff9 at 11:08 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

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