Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Have you put a child up for adoption?

I was wondering if any of you put a child up for adoption. How long ago it was? How are you feeling today?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (11)
  • If you would like to meet some people who have, and need some help with this subject. Go take a look at the Birthmoms group! It's very informative. Best Wishes! :)
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:11 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I had a baby girl 11 years ago. The pregnancy was the result of a rape and I could never have an abortion. I struggled with the decision to keep her or give her up for adoption. I decided to go the route of adoption. It is an open adoption and I have seen her, altho since her family moved to colorado, when she was 7 i have not seen her since. I am goin to make a trip there this summer to see her, she is beautiful! There have been moments when i have regretted my decision, but overall, it was the best thing for her. While I could have been selfish and kept her, it is much better for her where she is. I love her very much and not a day goes by that I don't think bout her and pray for her and her family.
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 11:12 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I am a birthmother. I placed my baby with a family of my choosing over 11 years ago. I'm fine with it, I had tons of counseling before hand to help in my decision, it's an open adoption, etc. I couldn't have raised her on my own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • yes 22 years ago. i don't recommend it.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 3:26 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Yes, I relinquished my first son over 41 years ago. I am in a good place in my life today, but, in spite of my son's adoption. His adoption brought me grief, anger, sadness and pain. Reunion brought me more of the same, but also the beginning of healing and joy to finally know him.

    The effects on birthmothers and sometimes their children as well, can be very far reaching. I view adoption as a last resort for a woman, because the consequences are too huge.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 3:53 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I am adopted, while I have no problems with my adoption from my reading on this site, it can truly be devastating it sounds as devastating as perhaps even losing a child to death. I don't know that side what I do know is I love my adopted mother and could not be happier
    MrsWeathers

    Answer by MrsWeathers at 9:45 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I gave up my first child 19 years ago, When he was 12 they stopped writing me, stopped sending pictures, changed their home numbers and eventually moved and didn't tell me. This is when the grieving process started, I lived in denial for about 2 years thinking they must be busy, once I realized 2 years is a long time to be busy, I fell into a deep depression utilizing alcohol to numb the pain when I wasn't sleeping. Eventually I found help for the depression, and my life is back on track, I'm in a good place. Adoption still hurts and I still get angry. I'm done with the bargaining part of grief, and most certainly out of denial but the sadness and anger are there. It ebbs and flows, some days are harder than others. I don't believe I will ever be at acceptance.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:27 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I think depending on where you are in your personal journey as a birthmom you will hear many different views from different birthmoms.
    For me being a birthmom started as, "I gave someone a gift" "I did the right thing" "It would be selfish to keep him" and so many more that I said to myself just to come to terms with it and be okay with it. I had already grieved so much, I was almost suicidal. Maybe that's how I survived it.
    Thought I was ok with it until one day I snapped. Found out Amom told the child I never cared about her. I got angry, and sad, and angry again. I did some heavy writing and got through that.
    Whenever one of my little ones hits a milestone, it's bittersweet. I can't help but wonder what it was like for my first child. And silently cried because I wasn't there.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:07 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • no thank goodness
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 1:09 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • My daughter was adopted 20 years ago. This is something you never get over. It is one the most devastating things I have ever and will ever go through. We are in reunion now and it is not easy but I am so grateful for meeting her again and seeing what a lovely woman she has become. Adoption should truly be a very last resort. It is so painful and effects you forever.

    ramajil

    Answer by ramajil at 7:37 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN