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4 Bumps

Why did we get married anyways?

This was the question my husband asked me a few days ago. He said we have nothing in common and don't even like to do the same things and asked why we got married anyways. I could not really offer much of an answer to that one, but yet highly doubt he will do anything about it because life is "easier" like this because of the kids but far from what I or he imagined it would be.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I feel for you, and I'm sorry. I find myself asking myself that question a lot lately. Does it feel like you are just living in the same place, like roommates, instead of living together? I feel like that a lot of times. It feels horrible. My husband and I actually used to have a lot of fun. After my DD was born that kinda stopped. seems he really wasn't ready to be a dad and a homeowner all at the same time. :-( I wish we could find a middle ground again.
    :-(
    Dalimonster

    Answer by Dalimonster at 11:11 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I'm sad for you! Do you want to rekindle this? sounds like some reconnection time is in order if you do! Start those date nights again! You married him for some reason! Time to rediscover that again! GL
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 11:11 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I think that maybe you have just lost the connection that you once had. Kids can do that to a relationship. You should get dressed up and have a date night. Then have fun sex. Try to do something nice for each other once a week. Try to get the feelings of love back into your marriage. To me it sounds like things just got too comfortable. You guys can do it!! :)

    jen2774161

    Answer by jen2774161 at 11:12 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I'm sorry.

    Sometimes opposites really do attract and make the best matches. Perhaps, somewhere along the way you forgot...or just diverged even further? My husband and I are really different. The only thing we do have in common is that we are crazy about each other. We don't like to watch the same shows/movies. We don't always like the same music. We have different talents and hobbies. We don't like the same books. We don't share political views....but somehow we are making it work.

    I hope if you two decide to stay together that you will make efforts to be happy while you do so!
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 11:13 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Why not start a new hobby? Something you both can have in common. Start over and date. Don't let your kids be the only thing you have in common. I love tennis so my husband learned to play with me when we first got married. Now we both enjoy it. My husband and I are the opposite we have so much in common. But there were things I really enjoyed that he just had to make an effort to like also and he did. And I did the same thing. Our next thing is motorcycle riding. We are both gonna take a motorcycle class. Just find something you both could enjoy together and start from there.
    True_Gator_77

    Answer by True_Gator_77 at 11:17 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • To be honest over the last year or two I really feel like the only thing we have in common is the kids. Especially as I have ventured to refind myself by going back to school and wanting to do more than just go to work and come home and do all the stuff for the kids and him. The minute I started putting myself on the list of people to take care of things have gone south, which shows me that I am not a priority but rather a convenience and I am not okay with that!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:19 AM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • My answer to that question would have been, "I married you because I loved you and wanted to spend my life with you. Why did you marry me again?"
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:17 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I'm right there with you... same exact situation almost. I feel for you, I'm very sorry. I hope the best for you, and I hope that you guys spark something and it reminds you why you are married and fell in love!!!
    Sarahe786

    Answer by Sarahe786 at 3:38 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • If you really feel like its over dont stay for the kids. Its not healthy for yoy, your husband or your kids. If you want to stay try try counceling, it really does help. You can also write a list pros and cons and compare.
    Good Luck
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 9:03 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

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