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Do you think this mom will change?

So a while ago I posted a question about how to respond to a friend who is constantly putting TMI online and basically just making herself look dumb.


For instance-She smokes weed, she has her medical card, for 'sleep issues', okay sure.  Any people online FB have been starting to piece together that she is smokng when with her baby, who is 10mos now.  Issue is, in my county in California, weed is like alcohol or even a prescription drug. 

 You can't be all doped up in puclic, can't drive, can't give to kids, so there's the part we can catch her on.  If her baby is in the room when she is smoking she is unable to care for him and she is forcing him to smoke as well by way of 2nd hand smoke.

Issue is, I would call CPS and what not when I know she is going to this friends house where she smokes but it's hard to tell when she is actually there, when she is doing it, etc.  Plus if the cops get called and it simply smells like weed it's a non-issue, they won't investigate at all.

But some karma came along.  Women on CM were brainstorming and basically the decision is she needs a wake up call.  Well, it seems as though one of her very close friends alerted the father of the child of her behavior and he told her to get it together or he will actually fight for custody.  (he would get it, he is 10x's more stable than her but just thought the baby should mostly be with his mom so he does weekend visits currently) anyway.


Do you think a person who sees nothing wrong with their behavior but is afraid of losing their child will shape up?  Or do you think she may be a lost cause and her baby should still go to the dad.? 


Asked by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Itll depend. I dont know her you do. Sometimes being served with papers will wake someone up. Sometimes losing custody will be all that does. In some women even that doesnt matter. If she is concerned with being high she may not even care if she loses. Even if she doesnt admit that she doesnt care, it doesnt matter.

    Answer by gemgem at 12:33 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Just call them and give them what you know. When you call they don't go over right away.
    People don't change unless they want to.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:32 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Baby needs to go to Dad.

    Answer by dancer at 12:33 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • You never can tell what a mom is willing to do when the threat of losing her own child comes up.
    All I can say is for myself..and if I were in that situation I would do whatever it took to keep my baby.
    But thats me and I don't do it may be easier for me to say something like that.Idk.
    I wish the baby luck.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:34 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • It will be hard to prove that she uses it for recreational use rather than for actual sleep. If she really needed it for sleep, then she would only smoke it before bed...which i don't see a problem with. Pot is a much safer sleep aid than ambien & some other prescriptions. BUT, if she is using it around her child, there needs to be some sort of evidence. It might be hard to prove.

    If she does not shape up, then she will lose her child & maybe rightfully so. If she cannot change her recreation use of marijuana, then she should not have custody of her child.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:37 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • CPS said to call the police when we know she is smoking with her son around.  That way they police can have a chance of seeing a lit roach, smoke, extra heavy smell, etc.  They said otherwise it will be very hard to prove there is any foul play going on. (think of it as not an illegal drug, because it technicially is not for her KWIM, but it is illegal to smoke it in the same room as a child, because of the 2nd hand smoke, it's the only limitation)

    It's kind of sad because I knew her before she was a mom and she just didn't adjust her life around her kid.  She thinks she is still a single woman.  Know you are a single mom now.  sheeesh. I secrelty stand behind the dad getting custody and maybe her getting visits.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:39 PM on Jan. 31, 2011