Foster parenting, and possibly adoption someday if the opportunity arises, has always been something I felt pulled or called to do. At this moment, we cannot because our house is too small for the biological children we already have...but we hope to move sometime this year and DH asked me about it. It was really the first time HE showed true interest without me bringing it up first... so I thought it would be good to at least look into it.
I guess I'm just looking for info from people who have done it firsthand. I have read the info on our state's website... so I know the TECHNICAL aspects... but what is it like? What's it like having people looking through your home to tell if you have a safe environment? What is it like when you meet your first foster child? How do you find out who and when you are needed? Do they really do like in the movies and call you at all hours to say "Look...we have this kid and nobody else can take him..." or is it a more gradual process?
Mainly, though, how to do prepare yourself mentally and emotionally? I know the main goal of the foster care system is to give kids a safe place to stay until they can hopefully be reunited with their families..or if not...until they can be placed for adoption or unfortunately, until they are 18. How do you prepare yourself to fall in love with a child knowing you will have to give him/her back to someone else?
On the one hand, I know they would not be MY children and that I would have to go in with this knowledge...but at the same time... you have to open yourself up and love them, because love is what they need. But how do you handle it? I want to be fully prepared for what I am getting into here, and although I know our case workers and all that will explain things... knowledge generally comes best through those who have been in the trenches so to speak.
And how do you get your other children ready for the in and out of other children? Is it something you would recommend for someone still having kids...or with very young kids? Or should I wait until we are done and I am older? I'm not really sure when we'll be done to tell you the truth, but I would like a large family.
Has anyone adopted through the foster care system? How does that process work? If the child you are watching is freed for adoption and is doing well and is loved by your family, do they give you the option if it's also in the best interest of the child...or if you are looking to adopt should you say that outright and they will find a match already freed for adoption?
Give it to me straight...the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. I don't think anyone can know 100% if they are ready until they know every detail...
Thanks to anyone who wants to share!
Posted here so more would see it...and because it's not really an adoption post...so I wasn't sure where it belonged... it covers such a broad range of questions. lol.
Asked by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Adoption
Answer by BaileysMom476 at 1:58 PM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by LadyEmrys at 2:08 PM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by LadyEmrys at 2:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by MrsWeathers at 9:43 PM on Jan. 31, 2011
Answer by Luuckymommy at 9:49 AM on Feb. 1, 2011
Answer by san78 at 1:09 PM on Feb. 2, 2011
Answer by Tawneekitn at 7:02 PM on Feb. 2, 2011
My mom is currently a foster parent. It was something she had always wanted to do as well as adopt. She did adopt 2 boys from Ghana 15 years ago and is now in the process of adopted one of the kids whose been a foster in her home for nearly 4 years now. I was there visiting when she got her first foster kids, 2 sisters. In the beginning it was really exciting and great but after a couple of really difficult kids she had to really question weather she wanted to continue to do it. She does really enjoy making a difference in the lives of children who desperately need a safe family home to try to rebuild themselves and I have seen such an amazing change in the kids that come through her home. Foster parenting isn't easy and requires a lot of thought but good homes are really needed and if you can provide one then go for it.
Answer by LadybugTash at 3:50 PM on Feb. 3, 2011